4 months or so, hasn't been that long
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| Fri, 11-12-2004 - 3:48pm |
But I am frustrated that he's never said anything about doing anything. Others have told me to ask him first. I just can't. Long story, but I can't, dont have the nerve, simple as that. But then I realized, I haven't been interested really all that long. I was reading in my journal and only as of July did I realize that I really have a crush on him. That isn't very long. SO, as I have to wait till Spring before I see him much again, but maybe something could happen. It's not that long from now. I called him yesterday to ask a gardening question and after he gave me the answer I said, well, we'll probably be in in December (to get Xmas trees) and he said, a few things and then told me if I needed anything to give a yell. I thought that was encouraging. Anyway, I feel a little hopeful. I keep remembering, he is shy too. If I feel it, he must like me. Maybe nothing will happen with us, but maybe it will. I just have to live my life and think about other things in the meantime.
Cheers.

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I realize you weren't really asking a question but making a statement but I wanted to give you my $.02. If this guy hasn't asked you out yet, I wouldn't hold my breath. Four months is a long time to wait to be asked out for even one date. You have given him plenty of opportunities and he hasn't taken them. You say he is very friendly and is shy but even shy guys, if they really want to go out with someone will get the courage to ask you out. Regarding asking him out first, I wouldn't do it. If he does go out you will never know if he did it only because you asked and he was being polite or if he did it because he really wanted to. In my opinion, it would be best to wait and see where it goes on it's own with him making the first move. In the meantime, don't hold out for this one and go out as you would normally because this deal may not pan out. Good luck to you. Lucy
I can totally relate to this feeling of being attracted to someone somewhat shy,but
very personable and handsome. I met this guy a year ago,he was a maitre di in a local
eatery where I frequented with family & friends. P. was the usual headwaiter,who was
extra friendly,charming and gave us complimentary appetizers,drinks,desserts,etc. He
would usually converse with my parents,dad,he had a great repore with sharing jokes.
At the end of our dinner,he'd linger at the table and smile at me,I felt a mutual attraction for P. Anyway,after several months later,my parents became ill,recently
lost both to cancer,tragic loss and still grieving,crying,happened in August. When
dad passed,we had the wake and went to the eatery,where I saw P.after so many months.
He asked where I'd been,looked happy to see me,my face showed infinite sadness,told
]him of dad's passing,he automatically embraced my mom,sister and kisses me,holding]
me as though we were alone, in this busy restaurant. I didn't care, my inhibitions,and
need to feel his closeness made me kiss him back. It was as if I knew him,the comfort
level was natural and our embrace just felt right. He wanted to attend funeral
and asked for my # and address. P.S. I've now been seeing P.as a good friend,not so romantic yet. Had couple of dates,despite running to hospitol with mom,later passed,
loss of my mom,hindered our time together. His new job in a hotel area,long hours,
and at times1 day off, little dates,just chat long on the phone. I'd love to tell
him how I feel so much,but don't want to be assertive and ruin our chances for
more than friends. It is difficult,especially in your case with the seasonal gardening,
make an excuse to go to the nursery. Ask him for some more advice,flirt a little,I bet
he'll think of asking you out. Or you could use your garden as a way to
have him come over,chat a little,be like a friend, ask him how long he's been in the
business.Compliment him on his knowledge,of ex.(whatever plants/shrubs you have)and
thank him for stopping by, offer him a soft drink(to get him to chat
a bit more. If he's interested,and hopefully availabe,you'll get a call. Keep in touch thru his business and maybe something nice will develop. Best wishes,Bellina
I appreciate your message. I think you do have a somewhat similar situation with the man in the restaurant and my guy. I dont know where either will lead but the beginnings sound similar. We both know, you and I, how we feel around them.
I hope yours turns into something more, or maybe stay at friends and becomes better friends. You are right, you do need to have him for a friend more than anything right now. I too, am not in a hurry. What's the rush if you can spend time around someone you care about and enjoy getting to know?
Best, best wishes and thanks.
pen
Thank you for your kind words regarding my dear parents passing. And for giving
me a bit of cheer in regards to my dear friend P.C.(his initials,afraid he'll read
his name or I'd share it with you)however I doubt he'd invest in time on a relationship
chat board!. He rang me today after working for six days in a new maitredi job.Sounded
cheerful,a trifle bit tired though. Said how he's been filling in for a couple of
people,working longer hours,etc.. He also bought up some positive words,saying that
wished we can get together on his day off! I feel so uplifted by his warmth,sense of
caring,goodhumor,compassion for people in general,business saavy and quite good-looking,
somewhat like Cris Walken(younger version,and sweeter in demeanor). I'm sorry
to bore you about my infatuations,you seem genuinely nice and do so hope you're
gardener fellow becomes closer and a good friend to you. I'm from England,Italian born,
and European cultures are quite different in their views on love and men as friends.
Britainers are more reserved and men prefer being friends before passions de le cour(love
afairs),while Italians are hotblooded. In Rome,where I have relatives I visit,there was
a dashing guy,lived nextdoor to my cousin,he was very assertive,asked me out.Went out
for Cappucinos,great chats,swiftly proceded to wisk me off in his ferrari,sightseeing,]
parked and became a regular Marcello Mastroaianni,embraced me,kissed quite passionately expecting me to make out pronto! I had to push him off me as he thought he'd be rewarded for being my tourguide on the l'autostrada dela sole! I was a little flattered he found me
so appealing,but resisted his advances much to his chagrin,drove me back to my
cousins place.Never saw him again,all I can say is he was a fabulous kisser and pretty
blue eyed man with lots of casanova tendencies. Now back here in the states men generally
don't react quite so dramatic,and thats a good thing. Take it a tad slow and do see if
you really are compatible in personalities and the passions aspect. Take care luv,
a friend - Bellina and stay cheerful,you're very sweet!
Ok, cheers again, as you say.
pen
Thank you for your kind words and glad my mad Italian casanova fellow tickled
your fancy! I've resided in the states for over 12 years and relate my past
European adventures to my dearest friends and loved ones. They keep telling me
I should become a columnist with my humourous chats of love that got away, I
can't leave my 1st love as an artist and designer for new homes.Love painting,decorating
and meeting people of many diverse backgrounds and cultures. If you don't feel comfort
in making the first move by ringing him on the phone,drop by his gardening place.Let
him be reminded of your charming,sweet demeanor,despite the offseason bit. My current
situation doesn't permit me to see P. due to his late hours in the posh hotel eatery,
usually just a day off. He'll call and chat,seems to be our most vital connection as of
this previous weekend,had to work and still does football coaching for highschool.
We share his stories of work,jokes and tells me he's missed me. I too tell him of
my many colorful clients extravagant spendings,odd tastes for decor,etc,any funny
stories,etc..He'll usually express a little flirtation telling me how he misses
our wonderful kisses,etc..and wants to cook me dinner sometime.I reply well
don't be too exhausted on your day off,I'll hold you to the invite if you're wearing
a kiss the cook apron! We've gotten very playful via phonecalls,builds up romantic
possiblities. When we do finally get a cooking,dancing kitchen date! Ooh la la,I told
him don't forget to make some chocolate souffle and whipped creme to decorate each
other with. His replying as long as he can add some chambord liquor,I'd taste just
like his chocolate rosette cake! Our verbal phone teasing is a prequisite for lots of romantic notions. Perhaps visit the landscaping chap,and ask for more advice in his gardening expertise for an indoor plant room! Perhaps he could suggest what will thrive best in a greenhouse.This was very big in England where I lived,due to long damp winters gardeners had exotic greenhouses filled with lovely vibrant succulent,ivy,violets,floral vines,topiaries,for affordable additions in the Tudor home gardens. Food for thought,do you live in a climate with a moist cold winters? 'Best wishes,luv hope I bring
you a little inspiration to get him interested in you, Cheers Pen, luv Bellina
Hi Bellina, I could tell from your original post, that there was something in your *voice* that didn't seem quite the same as other posters and perhaps that was the Brit or Italian in you.
Anyway, it sounds like you are having a nice flirtation with P. wow. I am definately not at that stage, but it sounds really nice. I think you two have it made. Why not just keep it at that stage forever?
I dont think I will be seeing my friend till later in Dec. or possibly early in Dec. when we go in for Xmas trees. I told him last week, "see you in Dec." I already have in mind what I am going to wear (blush). I am a fool. Just don't know what to do with this crush. I really have a crush. Did I tell you, I am not a teenager. I am in my forties. Jeesh. Some kids never grow up...
Pen
Hello Penelope,
Greetings luv, I guess my style of chatting has still remained part of my British
lifestyle,despite being Italian descent.Moms'side was from North England(still Italian,
with a bit of German blood and dad's family was from the outskirt of Rome,closer
to Naples. We migrated to Britain when I was a child,so I do consider my customs more
British,my emotions though can be Italian,opened and emotional. Guess I've
acquired a bit of both European countries in my values,customs,food and views on
love, and lifestyles. I too still blush with notions of fellows and confess I'm in my late30's,the big 40 is approaching. Never married, busy in career and guess never met
that special sweetheart,perhaps til now!(very wishful and fancy myself with P.
forever...dreeam).Hope luv,you'll still change thoughts regarding a casual meeting
of landscape fellow,he sounds quite nice,please don't be hesitant too long. When
I was youonger,in my 20's,still residing in Manchester,England I was totally smitten,
in love with a Trevor,after college he and I started as friends.Living only miles
apart,met in a local bookstore with a cafe area(like Borders,Booksetc..)shared tastes in
authors/of mysteries and mutual love for impressionist art,chats for hours.We dated,
shared our desires to travel,become involved in writing,anything on art publications,
gallery exhibits,etc. Laughed forever,read poetry,he even sketched me(SORT OF ALA
TITANIC MOVIE,ME MORE CLOTHED,THANK GOODNESS),quite a likeness of my features,I still have this,only show to close friends,family.Anyway we had a wonderful warm and affectionate relationship,I truly was in total love!He decided to study art in France's small town of Lyone,2 hrs.by train,didn't wan't him to leave,cried,accepted seeing him weekends after his classes,I too taking design,business,art studies,no time..for luv(did tons of writing letters beforee-mails existed)Sadly our passionate liasons grew cooler and more distant,he]met another gal(Frenchborn,cafe owner,he later admitted in his letters,he became smitten with.Perhaps she gave him those French kisses and then-somes
beside free patisseries(PASTRIES),CROISSANTS AND A ROOM ABOVE THIS CAFE).I latere
learned of this thru my girlfriend upon her trip to see her cousin,who resided
nearby of Lyone(did some Agatha Cristie P.I work. We parted sadly, and till this day we've both ar unmarried.I often wondered if it would be nice to meet up with him,quickly decidied it would stir up old feelings,and one can't ever recapture that same intense love one had passions of youth.I've calmed down in energies re: amour,less physical
intensities(nice thought),place intellect,values and common interests more meaningful in love)Guess,as my neice said is a 30-something idea!Wait she'll catch up,now she's twentyfour,young,loveley,full of vim and vigor,lots of sex,men on her mind. I never was that hot,prefer kissing,cuddles,candlelight,,romance,dancing,walks,etc.,intimate settings
and if results of the above(amore de cour,smashing with true love only) Take care,hope you find some way to see Mr. Gardener gallant fellow,before
Santa brings his mistletoe (HA,Ha)...Cheers,best wishes Bellina
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