4 months or so, hasn't been that long

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
4 months or so, hasn't been that long
15
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 3:48pm
Hmm, just feeling like a light bulb went on in my head. I've gone through bouts of almost giving up on this man that I am deeply encrushed by. I go to his landscaping company and this year, having become single again, decided that I am very much attracted to him. I went there lots this summer, as I was doing a lot of gardening. We hit it off, even tho I know he is a very friendly guy who is friendly with lots of people. I just sense there is also an interest on his part, mainly cause of the way he shows interest in me. I just get "that" feeling.

But I am frustrated that he's never said anything about doing anything. Others have told me to ask him first. I just can't. Long story, but I can't, dont have the nerve, simple as that. But then I realized, I haven't been interested really all that long. I was reading in my journal and only as of July did I realize that I really have a crush on him. That isn't very long. SO, as I have to wait till Spring before I see him much again, but maybe something could happen. It's not that long from now. I called him yesterday to ask a gardening question and after he gave me the answer I said, well, we'll probably be in in December (to get Xmas trees) and he said, a few things and then told me if I needed anything to give a yell. I thought that was encouraging. Anyway, I feel a little hopeful. I keep remembering, he is shy too. If I feel it, he must like me. Maybe nothing will happen with us, but maybe it will. I just have to live my life and think about other things in the meantime.

Cheers.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 8:19pm

Bellina, I think your future (or near future) holds more hopes for mistletoe kisses than mine. I do like that, but just don't see it happening that soon. My love interest seems different than that of the ordinary guy. I dont know him that well, but I know that I dont fit into a mold and have not done things in life that are considered standard and normal for one's age. I do things at my own pace and certainly at my own decision. Whereas, I think, most of the world does things in the time that they are supposed to. ie. getting married, having kids, etc. I think my guy has had other issues in his life, perhaps family members who needed him, not sure, but think along those lines. I have had my own reasons for not marrying, settling down, etc. Everyone has a different tale to tell. I don't assume anyone would fall into a routine, simply cause of their age.

Anyway, considering that I will probably not be seeing my guy for a couple more weeks and even then, will only be exchanging pleasantries, hello, what's new, anything we can say in our own silly, ridiculous, "hello, we are not teenagers but seem to be acting like them, ways". We, my *guy* and me, do sort of act like teenagers. Maybe that's why I know he is with me on this. He likes me, too. I can tell. I could be wrong. But ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 5:24am

Penelope greetings,

I'm too a trifle different in life's choices, and not sophisticated with men
as you think. Perhaps you believe due to my residing in swinging England,I lived the
wild madcap lifestyle of Bridget Jones, just the opposite. I'm actually
more like Maria in Von Trapp family(real life story in The Sound of Music,led
a sheltered childhood,with much older siblings,like having 2 sets of parents giving
one strict curfues during teen years. Didn't date or get my first kiss til I was just
about ending High school,I was shy,and despite people saying I should be a model,
resembling Olivia Newton-john(I never felt pretty,just average). I too did things
as far as men,marriage,little ones,later than my friends and cousins.(til today,by
choice,broken hearts,and strong Catholic faith,was celibate until my early thirties,
marriage never happened). I always felt that my values were that of another era,perhaps
even century,as alot of my friends would express to me.I didn't care how they felt
I just knew that there would be some old-fashioned fellow that would value my virginity so late.That special person was another Brit,from my hometown in England,upon
a holiday visit, made me decide to lose my innocence before wedlock. Fooled again thinking I'd found prince charming. He was 10 years my senior,a magazine editor,loved art,theater,Sinatra(i'm old-fashioned,but like a diverse music-even like BEE GEES,mainstreampop,Madonna,Celine,Cher,and my Brits Paul McCartney,Englebert and Tom Jones...).We had lots of fun listening,chatting of above artists,in which he interviewed many of these celebs for a British entertainment magazine.He was witty,funny,boyish looking for his 40 something age,and quite passionate(No longer virtuous Mary Poppins,but a modern Twiggy).I decided to remain in England,left my job in the states. Truly thought I would be singing Going to the Chapel. After four months,life seemed absolutely exciting ,romantic,effervescent,etc..I instead was left heartbroken.Paul,declared he loved me,but didn't see marriage for us,as he came out of an awfully bitter divorce.Ex got the house,car and main custody of a 3 year old child.I said I'd never hurt him in this way,he believed me.However Paul also said he didn't want anymore children,this broke my fragile heart.We parted,sadly,but stayed resiliant. I returned to the states.He could have been my soulmate if only children were an option. It took me nearly 5 years to try dating again, thru friends,church etc.. Then tragic loss of my dearest parents,came someone to recapture and give me hope to love again.P.,a very old-fashioned,sweet Irishmen and someeone dad and mom liked.I believe that in crying,grieving my parents,thru prayers,dad has send me P. to fill that dreadful void and desire to love again..Take care,and know that whatever you're feeling for your gardener chap will be worth the wait..Cheers and best wishes Bellina!
T
B
C
T

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 8:17pm
Hello Pen,
Don't know why my post keeps vanishing,as i recall hitting save,here it goes again.
Thanks for your inspiration in my state of bewitched,and mainly bewilered now.
Decorations are very uplifting,however as my dear parents passed a brief time ago,
still grieving,will be only placing Nativitty up,possibly with some handmade angels.
Christmas mum and dad's absolute treasured holiday.Dad would take a month preparing
outtdoor village,of white glistening reindeers,angels,Santa,homemade sleigh,icicle
lights,etc..mum with her collection of handcrocheted figures,angels,bears,dolls,needlepoint ornaments,sequined treeskirts,tablecloths,my
aunt and she had a yearly craft sale,and leftovers donated to church,and charites,
hospitol(ill children).Such are my treasured memories of holidays with them,get
teary-eyed..Anyway perhaps Pen,I can inspire you to visit your landscape l'amour
de cour(sweetheart),casually say you're needing some fresh holiday decor(does his
shop have such lights,outtdoor items,possible?). I know your a tad shy,but be
bold and perhaps he'll be all too delighted to give you some decor ideas! One
can conjure up him visiting you,or get someone from his business to assist
one in trimming festive lights.Then casually mention perhaps,he'd like to
see how his shops decor looks,and ask for an objective opinion(well,I could
fancy this notion,but follow your heart).As for P.,he rang me,chatted anad
mentioned he's going to his sisters.Darn,well I said sorry and going to
invite him for desserts..He sounded sad(I'm glad,in a way),and said your
kind and only wished he didn't commit to his sister,but his mom(ill in nursing
home),will be there too.Seems like romance is only a state of mind,presently.
Do you think I should mention future visit betwenn Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Take care,Happy holiday,luv Bellina...cheers
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 8:26pm
Is it not possible for you to find out at all if this guy is seeing someone else? After 4 months and if I were able to "hear it through the grapevine" if there was another woman I would ask him out for coffee or something. It is obvious you have the same interests. Maybe he could go with you to get some other accessories sometime or such of the sorts. Don't be afraid to ask him. The least he can say is no and the best is yes. You already feel a bit rejected because he didn't ask you, and this is not the 18th century so give it a whirl. Be cool Chick!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 9:04pm
Teresa, Thanks for making me laugh about a strenuous situation. I know it's not the 18th century! but I feel like I would be rejected and I know how lame that sounds, but I am just too scared. But your post was encouraging. I must go see him...

Pages