6 MONTHS RELATIONSHIP STANDARDS
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| Thu, 08-12-2004 - 4:04pm |
Please help me. I have had only 2 boyfriends my whole life and I don't know that much about timing and relationships. My guy and I have been together now for a little bit over 6 months. The problems is that even after 6 months we:
1) See each other an average of 2 days a week (majority on weekends)
2) Don't call each other every day. We will talk on the phone around 3-4 times a week.
3) He says he cares for me a lot and looks forward to us doing all the stuff we talked about doing.
4)I initiate our dates about 50% of the time.
My guestion is that after 6 months, shouldnt we be spending more time together and shouldn't it come more naturally. I mean I look at other couples, who call each other every day and see one another 4-5 times a week. I see couples who are very lovely dovey and call each other every day. I also wanted to note, that he is definitely not cheating on me, its just that we are moving very very slowly. I mean does this mean he doesnt see a future with me.
My thing is that I don't want to appear needy or nag at him, especially when all these advancements in relationships should have come naturally. Again, he is only my 2nd boyfriend and I dont know how relationships should progress after a certain amount of time. I know not all relationships fall into a cookie cutter, timing, but still, after 6 months shouldn't we been calling each other almost everyday and seeing each other more than 2 times a week?
Also, he told me last week that he cared about me a lot, but shouldn't he love me by now after 6 months? Does this mean he never will?
I want to know specifically everyone else's experiences (past or present) with their boyfriend or girlfriend and how they acted toward each other after 6 months?

It's difficult to apply generalizations and timelines to a relationship.
Start
Just be honest with him that you would like the chance to see him a little more. There may be a very good reason why you only see him twice a week. Is he involved in a lot of clubs or activities, does he work long hours? You don't NEED to talk to someone every day. If you feel that you SHOULD, then tell him you'd like to hear from him more often. But ask yourself too, does he like to talk on the phone when you do talk to him on the phone? Or does he get off quickly?
As for the love thing, some people feel the love for a person before they say it. Don't push on that issue, he will say it when he's ready.
I just joined the message boards today. I read your message and totally understand where you are coming from. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and when we first started dating we went through the same thing however it took us even longer than 6 months to start saying I love you. My previous boyfriend had committed suicide and my current boyfriend also brought baggage from his previous relationship...so I would definitley say if you both came out of a rocky relationship to give it some time; however talk to him about it and let him know what you are feeling because he might be feeling the same thing.