About the Ex
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About the Ex
| Fri, 03-05-2004 - 1:13am |
Okay, I posted a message a while ago about a guy I was really interested in and who was giving me loads of signs that he liked me back. Well, it turns out, he does like me back and we are supposed to talk with each other about our relationship tomorrow... which is the next time we will be seeing each other in person (since we are realy busy mon-thurs we only talk on the phone, etc. then). So i've been pretty much good/best frineds with him for the past 1 1/2 and we've helped each other with relationships, etc., recently, he had a serious girlfriend of about 5 months and he sought me for advice and the like, for they had tried a relationship before that with each other but it hadn't worked out, and then they tried it again and after 5 months, that was basically all she had to offer him and vice versa and it wasn't enough. Anyways, so she broke up with him, she had never liked him romantically in the first place, which was kind of cruel, but anyhow, I suppose a try was worth a shot. So, about 2 months ago was their breakup and since then are relationship has been slowly taking a turn from best friends to something more and it was completely turned with a kiss (yeah, just a kiss!) over the weekend. Yeah so, we basically said had mutual feelings about starting a romantic-relationship and told each other we would talk tomorrow, which would be our next time to see each other in person. Now to the point of my story!! Since his break-up with his Ex, he has still been talking with her. Before our relationship had started taking its turn, he had told me that me, her and his best guy friend were the only people he completely trusted (it was one of those lets-hear-the-truth conversations hahaha) and that the break-up wasn't a bad one, since they agreed to still be friends, but i know his heart was harshly broken. So, they've been easy-going friends with each other, and I don't think that's really a big deal, since I'm friends with one of my own ex's and there's no slyness going on with that. But despite it not really being a big deal, I would still like to talk to him about his current stance with her. Ever since he began showing big signs of affectionate feelings towards me, I've felt that it would be awkward to ask him about his Ex, since I had been asking how he was doing and the like beforehand, since he was getting over the breakup. And he hasn't really talked about her in a while. Is this only because we've started something between us and he feels something more than friendship for me that he feels awkward talking about it also, or what? I'm not sure what will happen if I bring it up, or what exactly I should ask if i even want to talk to him about it. I just simply want to know how exclusive they are and whether I'm just a rebound or safety-net to get back on his feet, or if he's just using me, or whatever it happens to be. Should I be cautious? I trust him completely and I don't think he'd do anthing without telling me, but because we're in a new type of relationship, something that is very new and different with each other, I'm simply wondering. His Ex has always been a girl I've respected very much, so I don't think it's jealousy, I'm just not sure whether I should bring it up quite yet. Any advice?

You sound like you don't think he's over his ex and it sounds a little too complicated if he has to meet you in person to talk about your "relationship" when you're not even dating yet - why can't he just ask you out on a proper date and while on the date you can discuss lots of things - the length of your post and all the minor details makes it sound like you have a lot of doubts as does he. Proceed with caution and date him only if you trust him.