Addicted To A Loser

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Addicted To A Loser
13
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 11:31pm
I have been involved in an on-again-off-again-friends-with-benefits situation for a little over a year (more off than on). The thing is, he just disappears on me. Sometimes days, even weeks will go by with no word. The last episode lasted 37 days. Then on last Tuesday he calls and wants to see me. So, I go and we talk and he tries to initiate sex. Well I was able to resist and I tell him that it's not like that and I cant have sex with him anymore. He was actin like he was cool with it and we hung out and talked for a little and then all of a sudden he remembered he had somethin to do (YEAH RIGHT!!). I thought that was it and was certain that it would be awhile before I heard from him again but he called the next day and the day after that. He called me more last week than he has in the past 6 months. He was callin everyday and I was being so strong and it felt so good......then I gave in on Monday. He called, I was bored, I went over to watch a movie and it was all over. I WAS WEAK!!! We had sex and afterwards it was so awkward. He got all quiet and then he went into another room and came back talkin about his mom was coming home from work early (yes he lives with mom) and that he would call me later blah blah blah. I knew he was just tryin to get rid of me and I was glad to leave (not really) but I shouldnt have been over there in the first place so I gathered my things and left. I felt so bad that night I cried myself to sleep. I was doin so good without him and now I'm back to square one. I havent talked to him since then, he called yesterday and left a message but when I called him back he didnt answer and he hasnt called anymore after that. I feel like such a fool!! I had promised myself that I would never let him use me again and that 2006 was goin to be better (3 days to get it together). Now I sit here confused, checkin my signal, checkin my messages, waitin on him to call. I know what I need to do, I just dont know how. I know that if he calls again I will go see him. It doesnt matter if it's 1 day or a 100. Im addicted to a loser. HELP!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 8:53pm

He is makin it very easy for me. He's not callin at all. I havent talked to him since we've had sex. He hasnt called since Thursday night. A few days ago I was waiting for his call so I could talk to him, now im waitin on his call so I can reject him. *sighs* I havent tried to contact him either. I am just gon let it go. I know I have self-esteem issues and I'm not very happy with myself so sometimes I tend to seek out the attention of men to feel....attractive and wanted I guess. Now that it is 2006 I've wiped the man-slate clean and I am goin to start workin on myself before I get involved with another guy again (and definitely not Mr. Vanishing Act). Thanx for all of your replies. Even tho it may not seem like much, ya'll have truly helped me thru a tough time. I hope all of you had a Happy New Year. Thanx again. :)

Kel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 10:18pm

Ok, now what you need to do is quit waiting. I suggest not even talking to him again. You don't need to talk to him to reject him. Your future silence will be enough. I'm just afraid for you that if you should actually speak with him that you will break down and see him again. It might seem like avoiding the problem, but in this case, I am not sure that's not the best road to take.

It's good he's making it easy. He's also showing you his true colors one more time. Don't break down this time and don't go see him ever again. It's for the best. Good luck and be strong. You can come out here if you need help resisting and someone will talk you out of it!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 6:41pm

It's good you realize he's a loser and that you want to end this addiction. So stop tellling yourself that you're unable to resist. you are, first, stop telling him to call, and MEAN IT.


then have a posse of female friends

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