Advanced Planning?
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Advanced Planning?
| Sun, 08-27-2006 - 8:53am |
What are your thoughts on guys planning dates in advance? Are there a certain number of days they should ask you out in order to have a Friday night date? What if they tell you they don't plan further in advance of a week or a week and a half... what would you think?
And of course, guys opinions are welcomed!


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The guy I just started dating has asked me at the end of each date about seeing each other again, or the next time he phoned. I would say that I try to make plans at least a few days to a week in advance. Or if we are talking aboout major plans (the theater, a concert) then making plans a few weeks in advance would be okay too.
If a guy told me he never makes plans more than a week in advance I would wonder why. Does he have a crazy work schedule or kids that sometimes make it hard to plan far in advance? I would certainly weigh those types of issues. If I suspected that he wouldn't make advance plans because he wanted to keep his options open for other women or friends in case they had a "better offer" then I wouldn't want to date him! I mean even if you are in the beginning stages of a relationship and each of you is dating others or has an active social life with friends, he should treat you with enough respect to show that plans with you matter and that you are a priority - otherwise why bother?
I prefer that a guy plan and ask me in advance, if only because I have a busy social calendar and it fills up, LOL! But if I am available last minute and someone I like asks, I won't automatically say no. But last minute invites should be an aberration rather than the rule--I'm a planner for the most part, and I prefer a guy who is the same way.
Sheri
See now here's the deal. This guy I have been trying to schedule a date with doesn't want to schedule too far out. Right now I'm traveling straight for the next 6-8 weeks so everything I do has to be planned in advance. He asked if I was a Paris Hilton or something. His job is demanding at times, he works as a transit manager and is on the 2-10pm shift. And at times he does have to work late. Which is fine. But if he wants to see me, I need to plan at least a week and a half advance right now. He has a problem with this.
What to do?
I would tell him straight out--this is how it has to be right now due to my travel schedule, and if you can't work with me on this, then we're probably not a good match.
Sheri
I told him and we got into that sort of standoff position if you know what I mean... So I told him to catch up with me next week and we'll see what can happen and this is all I have to offer right now.
I think I might have let my ego speak too and let him know that he should feel special that I am giving him my free time when I don't have a lot. But that's the man in me! LOLOL
in addition, I'd think a lot about the WAY someone asks you out-- my ex used to ask me out by saying, "I want to go this time game, or I really want to see this movie." i guess that was my cue to say, sure, I'd like to see it too. he never really asked me, "what do you think we should do this weekend? or, are YOU INTERESTED in visiting this place or seeing this movie?" I now think you can learn a lot about a person that way.
Interesting points. I don't know if I could say it's self centered to have to pull out a planner simply because that's what my life is right now. And that's why the guy is getting upset. The fact that I can't just say "ok let's go out" is bothering him. Right now my schedule is pretty booked until October so if I want to spend time with friends, there's no choice but to put it in a planner, you know? It's a temporary situation until we hire someone new but it's the situation I have to live with right now...
Yeah...I'd end that stand off by walking away from it. If he calls next week and wants to schedule something, great but if not, no big loss, if he can't be flexible!
Sheri
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