advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
advice?
1
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 8:01pm

I met a guy I was friends with years ago. He said I broke his heart when I moved away a few years ago. When we saw each other again, we started hanging out then got more serious. He spent time with my family and I spent time with his. Then he wanted to start doing activities my son.
I was sooo nervous when it came to my son that it became a problem. My easy- going attitude changed when it involved my son and I did not want to be "affectionate" with him around my son. His parenting philosophy was not like mine either- never mean, but a traditional "boys don't cry" style... anyways, it was obvious that the guy was having a tough time dealing with his own end too.
We ended up stopping everything, over the phone, and agreed to friendship, we continued chatting over the phone for a bit longer. Then I got busy with my life and didn't call- he didn't call either (note- he generally waited for me to call rather than calling me).
It has been a few months now. We recently saw each other out with mutual friends one night. There seemed to be a strong connection- He asked why I haven't called- he grabbed my phone number again. He kissed my hand and directed his attention towards me when we were close... but I tried to just be very casual- not ignore him but not give him any extra attention. When the guy left, a mutual guy friend (who never spent time with us together before) asked me if it was "true love" (??)
I've already rambled on so I won't go into too much detail. But I saw him a day later and said hi in passing. (My son however, turned around, gave him a hug and they talked for a minute.)

Anyways, I called the guy a few days later just to open the door to conversation and we had a quick conversation. At the end, he said to call him so we could go for a coffee or s/thing... I didn't answer because I figured I already made the move to call (but I didn't invite him to call me, either) then he did say 'I'll call you' just as we hung up.
So I wonder- should I call when I have time to hang out? or should I wait? was the other night just a way to ease potential awkwardness? Am I making too much of this?- obviously I am! But I have no idea how to read this situation or if I even should.
Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: cats_eyes
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 7:04am

Let me ask you this... what do you hope to get out of hanging out with this guy? Do you want to resume a relationshiop? It sounds like it. Remember that people don't change unless they want to, so the same parenting style that got on your nerves earlier will still be there...


Is it really worth opening the doors again?