Advice needed on cheating/suspicion

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Advice needed on cheating/suspicion
5
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 4:52pm

Today is friday and i haven't seen my b/f since saturday. We usually see each other thursday-saturday and sometimes another day. We live about 45 minutes apart.

Well he didn't mention anything on wednesday even though he knew i got out early from work and my parents went away and i'm all alone at my house--not meaning oh he can come over to you know but more like..lets do something and keep me company.

Thursday he did not say anything as well. He was still at work at about 7:15--saying he was working OT and by the time he gets out, it will be about 8pm--i text message him--should i make other plans--and he said i thought it was obvious that it would be too late..the earliest i can leave to get you is 9:30(by the time gets home and stuff)---in my eyes--if he hasnt seen me in a week--he should want to see me no matter what time it was. He said he did not shower since yesterday, didnt eat, and worked 12 hours...i realize that but i still feel that a b/f should see his g/f--he could quickly shower, eat, and be with me for 2 hours for a later dinner or something.
I just feel he should be more eager to see me---he called me at 9 but my brother was over so i said i will call you back. I call him at 11:30---no answer--i call at 12:30 and no answer--he calls me at about 2:30 am--i am usually up late anyway-and i got to thinking---was he cheating? did he go out? he said he fell asleep probably at 11 and that he did his laundry..and he said his phone was downstairs charging..its weird to me how he fell asleep 30 minutes before i happen to call and usually he does hear the phone even if it is downstairs charging...Should i be worried he met up with some girl or does it sound like he just had a rough day and didnt want to do anything? This is horrible but i was actually tempted to take a cab to see if his car was in the drive way or if he went out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 8:48pm

I wouldn't jump to conclusions! Sounds like he's working hard. Don't start snooping either, BAD! Next time you talk just tell him that you missed hanging out on thursday and give him a hug and a kiss. How long have you guys been together? He may just be comfortable enough to say, "Hey babe I'm beat and leaving my house to drive 45 mins at 9:30pm isn't appealing".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 6:20am

ge56...

Please don't tell us that your entire life revolves around your boyfriend? Most ivillagers (including Pianoguy) believe that this sort of behavior is a 'major mistake!'

If you're concerned about his safety or health...you can always pick up the phone and call? But if you're just "snooping" to see if you can catch him with someone else, you might wind up WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND.

If more than a week goes by with no communication...then contact him! Otherwise, go about your business. Men hate it when women are constantly expecting day-to-day communication....simply because SOME OF US (due to travel, work, health issues, etc.) CAN'T ALWAYS PROVIDE IT!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 11:13am
Be careful how far you take this fabricated assumption and false accusation of him. It comes across as so selfish, cruel and disrespectful. If he learns that you will falsely accuse him of cheating when you don't get your way - he will dump you. No man is obligated to put up with that kind of nonsense and disrespect from any woman.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:01am
Being a creature of habit myself, if someone I'm dating suddenly changes our pattern (i.e. instead of getting together Th-Sun, decides not to call until Friday) I can feel throw off balance too. But that's all it is. Give him the time and space he needs to rest, regroup, have some "him" time. He'll come back feeling better and refreshed and better able to focus on the time you share together! And if in the odd chance it happens to be more than that, time will tell. So there's no need to let it ruffle your feathers right now. Relax and enjoy the time to yourself, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:14am

I would definitely NOT jump to any conclusions.