Advice Please on this guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Advice Please on this guy?
21
Mon, 02-16-2004 - 2:46pm
To make a long story short, I dated this guy for a few weeks it went really fast (we weren't intimate) but spent way too much time together. I should have known the red flags were there... just got out of a 2 year relationship 5 months ago. Well, things were good then he dumped me just like that said he couldn't see me anymore. I was hurt. Well I saw him a few weeks when classes started and he was so excited to see me. He told me that he got scared that is why and that he can't move forward without lettin the past go, so he wants to just take it slow and see if a relationship happens in the future. Well we talk everyday now, to see how our days went and see each other about twice a week, at the bars and we spent V-day together.. he cooked dinner and brought me wine. One night at the bars I was drunk and we were making out and I told him that I wanted to "be" with him. I like this guy so much.. Then he told me he wanted to be with me too.. except that he doesn't want to hurt me so that it isn't a good idea. He wants to make sure things are right between us first and IF we do have sex he wants it to be meaningful and special with me. I'm pretty sure he isn't dating anyone else.. but I honestly don't know. Do you think what he said was truthful or he doesn't want to have sex with me? I like him alot and I'm pretty sure he likes me too.. i can tell by the way he holds my hand and kisses me. He knows my friends.. and I know his..Since we had a relationship, it ended and now we're takin it slow.. how do I know where we stand? Our we dating? Should I ask him or not cuz I don't want to scare him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 7:01pm
Yeah jsman.. that is exactly what I'm gonna do. I just stopped calling and we'll see if he calls if he doesn't.. then oh well right? Besides I'm starting to realize things that are adding up.. when we first started dating he told me he quit smoking pot 3 weeks ago (he was a major pot head for years did it everyday all the time) and he even cried when he told me cuz he was proud of himself. Then he'll either be happy one day or sad another.. then he even told me that he isn't 100 percent emotionally stable and that he has all these feelings that he wants to go away. I think that hes back to smoking pot again.. last time I saw him his eyes were bloodshot and he looked kind of out of it. I know he hangs out with his buddies ALL the time who all smoke up, he's all about being with the guys. I remember joking around with him once and saying that "you need help" he looked at me funny and said yeah, I know I do. I think this might have something to do with why he's so hot and cold.. like I want to be with you, talk to you everyday, then its like no phone calls.. lol ooh well. Sorry I just wanted to let this all out!!

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