Afraid to get involved again...
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Afraid to get involved again...
| Sun, 08-01-2004 - 12:09pm |
hi! last yaer i was introduced to a good friends cousin. he was single and i was single so my friend got everyone together for a night out and it gave me a chance to meet her cousin. we didnt talk much but exchanged #'s and went on a date a few weekes later. it was like a blind date b/c we really didnt know each other. we went for dinner and a drink, but the date was not the best. he is a very quite guy and i felt like i was doing all the talking and i really didnt feel like opened up at all. i left it alone and we saw each other periodically over the year at events etc. to be honest, i was not really giving it much effort. i look back now, and i know i was scared and closed up. As much as i wanted to meet a nice guy, i backed off the notion of REALLY trying with him, for my own stupid reasons of fear.
so, here i am right now. i went to an event over the weekend and he was there. we talked and danced and seemed to get along well. he still is a quite guy but we seemed to be doing ok. i actually enjoyed his company. After we kissed, it seemed to be a little more comfortable. he was very sweet and very nice to me and i liked his kindness. i saw him in a different light. i saw a sweet, gentle man who was not a player and was genuine in his affection. Like i said before, i have been single for a long time, (years!) and i was scared of getting involved even though that was what i wished for for so long. so here i am, i reconnect with this lovely man and i find myself being a little scared again. my heart tells me to give this a chance, and i truly want to, but i am scared. i have been hurt very deeply in the past and i guess i have a hard time trusting that someone will be genuinely good to me again. i know he would be this guy for me, thats the thing. my question is...why am i so afraid to get close again? how do i get past this? he said he will leave this whole thing up to me to decide if i want to get together again, no pressure. i explained in a few words how i was nervous about getting invovled again and that he just be patient with me, he was sweet and was fine with that. I do like this man, and somewhere in my heart i know i should go for this, i just have a hard time jumping into this like i should and not worry about it. i guess when you are alone for so long it is hard to get involved again without worrying..the funny thing is, i dont think i have anything to worry about with this man. ahhh.....why am i being like this? anyone relate???????????????????????????????????????help me see the light here!!!!
so, here i am right now. i went to an event over the weekend and he was there. we talked and danced and seemed to get along well. he still is a quite guy but we seemed to be doing ok. i actually enjoyed his company. After we kissed, it seemed to be a little more comfortable. he was very sweet and very nice to me and i liked his kindness. i saw him in a different light. i saw a sweet, gentle man who was not a player and was genuine in his affection. Like i said before, i have been single for a long time, (years!) and i was scared of getting involved even though that was what i wished for for so long. so here i am, i reconnect with this lovely man and i find myself being a little scared again. my heart tells me to give this a chance, and i truly want to, but i am scared. i have been hurt very deeply in the past and i guess i have a hard time trusting that someone will be genuinely good to me again. i know he would be this guy for me, thats the thing. my question is...why am i so afraid to get close again? how do i get past this? he said he will leave this whole thing up to me to decide if i want to get together again, no pressure. i explained in a few words how i was nervous about getting invovled again and that he just be patient with me, he was sweet and was fine with that. I do like this man, and somewhere in my heart i know i should go for this, i just have a hard time jumping into this like i should and not worry about it. i guess when you are alone for so long it is hard to get involved again without worrying..the funny thing is, i dont think i have anything to worry about with this man. ahhh.....why am i being like this? anyone relate???????????????????????????????????????help me see the light here!!!!
