After 20 yrs. I'm still in love....
Find a Conversation
After 20 yrs. I'm still in love....
| Sun, 10-30-2005 - 11:46pm |
Twenty yrs ago I met the love of my life. We lived together for 8 yrs and had a child who ended up passing away from leukemia. The strain of our child being so sick is what ended our relationship. Our son doctor told me at the time that when you have a child that is so sick it does one of two things: bring you closer together or splits you apart, there is no happy medium. In our case it split us up. And we know that it was NOT our son but the stress of the sickness that split us up. In the past twenty years a lot has happend, but the both of us has kept in touch, sort of. For him, he has been married twice (currently in his 2nd failed marriage) and as for myself, I have only been in 1 searious relationship, but that ended because my heart did not belong to the guy that I was seeing. My heart was with the guy that I met 20 yrs ago. During his marriages and the times in between, he has always called me and on occassion we have seen each other. For me I am still in love with him...always have been. In my heart, I truly believe that he still loves me or maybe its just wishful thinking. I found out the other day that over the past 20 yrs he has continue to carry a picture of me in his wallet and he has admitted that he thinks of me everyday of his life. It's been quite a while since we last seen each other (5 yrs.) but this morning he showed up at my door. I was surprised to see him and I really thought that I would have been more excited to see him but I found myself to feel that I was looking at a stranger. He looks like the guy that I am still love with but he feels more like a stranger. Could there still be a chance for us? Could we rekindle our relationship? If so, how? Sometimes he feels close to me, but most of the time its like he holds me at a distance, not wanting to get close again. I get such mixed messages from him. I don't know what to do...do I ask him what exactly he wants or play it by ear? I don't know anymore. Could he still care after all these years or am I just a safty net for him when things go wrong in his life? Point me in some direction, b/c I don't know what to do after seeing him this morning and him feeling like a stranger....

twentyyearsoflove...
Pianoguy has a very simple explanation....
After all the changes the two of you have been through (including his marriages), you're still living with the FANTASY of your ex coming back! He, on the other hand, knows he can turn to you for emotional support (when necessary), but can end the communication with you any time he pleases.
If his feelings for you were AS STRONG AS THE ONES YOU HAVE FOR HIM....he would have made more of an effort? Based on what you've written...the man doesn't want to.
Pianoguy
You might still be in love with him, but it is the him from 20 years ago, not the him from today.
He's changed and you have probably changed. He also is still married. You should tell him that when the ink is dry on his divorce papers he can come by and you might be willing to discuss things.