After all that, He cancelled!! Read on..

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Registered: 05-29-2006
After all that, He cancelled!! Read on..
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 8:45am
Well I never thought i'd be updating this story so quickly like this with such a turnaround... Eli and I were on the phone yesterday, only because my girlfriend asked me what my plans for Saturday were and if I was free would I want to go to a party with her. I haven't seen her in a long time, but Eli had SORT OF made plans with me for Saturday, so I told her i'd get back to her soon and let her know. So i'm on the phone with Eli last night and said to him "so what do you wanna do saturday? got any ideas?" (just to keep it light and not make him think I was being pushy) and that's when all of a sudden he completely changed his tune from our conversation the night before. The first conversation he seemed so into getting together, and in fact, it was HIS idea. He asked me to go out. Now last night all of a sudden he starts telling me he doesn't know if he's going to have any money, he doesn't know if his check is going to come in by friday, he doesn't have alot of gas in his car, blah blah blah... EXCUSES!! This pissed me off big time. Then, even worse, he starts telling me that he's been feeling down about this girl he was dating that he left back in california. How he told her he couldn't be serious with her because he was leaving but she kept calling him anyway, so he was mean to her, and now she didn't want to talk to him and he's been feeling bad about it. He apologized and said "i'm sorry, today's been an especially bad day with that for some reason. I want to call her and tell her i'm sorry and tell her how I feel, but I know she doesn't want to talk to me". Well, I was completely pissed, and I made it known. Not in a really nasty way though. I just said "you know, you're confusing me. Last night you seemed excited to hang out, you seemed interested. Now you dont. What is this?" and he goes "I am interested". So PS, here's how I handled the situation. First I said "if you really want to go out, I can drive this time and we can just do something fun that's inexpensive, like go to the beach or something" so he was like "ok, that sounds good". Then we got off the phone and I thought "what are you doing??? you shouldn't have to listen to him cry on your shoulder about some girl that he's not over yet and go pick him up after he just cancelled plans with you". I didn't want to feel like he was only coming out because I had shot down every attempt of his to back out. So I text messaged him and said "this is what we're going to do: i'm gonna hang out with my girlfriend this weekend. when/if you feel better and you still want to get together, you call me and we can hang out as friends (friends first). And I left it at that. I didn't even get a response back. But I felt proud of myself for not settling for once. And last night I told my counselor about this whole thing. She stood up and gave me a high five and said I did the right thing, that I didnt deserve that. That he should be keeping his plans and coming to pick me up and taking me out, not the other way around. So for the first time in a long time, I actually did the right thing in a situation like that.