After Just One Date...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
After Just One Date...........
4
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 5:50pm
well, we met online...we both are in the same industry - In the beginning, he was very flattered that we could have a lengthy discussion about our careers and where we wanted it to go..he even talked to me about us working as a team and also dating...Now, I'm really confused...He has my pictures and he finds me very attractive, however, ever since the first date in person, he says "to _ with business" and now I think he is really interested, but how do I know if he still respects me? Does he just want sex? He's 50 and I just turned 40 - he says I look very young for my age and he also made a comment that he really needs a business partner and I said you don't think we could work together and he just laughed and turned red and said I don't think so......I think I'm flattered, but everytime I bring up my appts and my schedule (because he asks) he just acts kinda distant and wants to keep everything personal. sometimes, he will start talking about business and he will wrap it up and say well enough about business. He has asked me to visit him in his home town, but now he wants to come here next weekend and go to church with me and then he wants me to come see him the following weekend and go to his church. It's like he has the next 3 weeks planned..is this moving too fast? I told him I'm kinda slow and sometimes I may be distant at times, but just to be patient with me. Is this a good sign or a bad sign? I am very flexible in my career and he knows I'm interested in real estate as well. He says he's looking for just one lady and not interested in being a player. I don't have any children and he has 2 in college. Please advise. Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:45am
Well, it's pretty clear to me that he likes you. He also has no problem showing it, which is refreshing. But, how do YOU feel about him? I get no sense of your feelings from what you wrote. If this is a fellow you want to get to know better, do so. If not, best to let him go right now and spare his feelings.

BTW, are you using online dating for a relationship or not? If so, you have lucked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:46am
peach2566...

Why not take things "one weekend at a time?"

The only confusion Pianoguy gets from your post is whether this 'merger' between you both is actually business-related...or if it's personal? You didn't indicate how far away you live from each other, but you might want to consider an "extended day" of getting to know each other before you attend church together? .

If you think the man is moving too fast...indicate to him that you'd be more comfortable if he S-L-O-W-E-D down a little! If he's truly interested in you...he'll understand that most women don't want to be RUSHED!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 6:33pm
I'm a little confused by what you were looking for when you began talking with this man. Do you want to begin a relationship with him or not? If you are just looking for a new business partner, I don't think you'll find one there. Also, you asked if he's just looking for sex, what happened on the first date with the guy? Did you sleep with him? What did you talk about while on the date? Did he keep talking about sexual things? That's a good indication of what he's looking for.

Sounds to me like you are a little intimidated here. I think you should agree to another date, IN A FEW WEEKS, and go from there. Don't agree to something though, if you're not feeling right about it. Trust your gut, it's usually right on.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:14pm
Hi Alison...I guess I needed to clarify a few things..we are both in similar industries, but I didn't know that when we met...it's just that we had so much in common business wise that it was HIS idea that I could be his VP, etc..well, I didn't want to work for anyone since I'm in business for myself, but I just let him talk...anyway, when we met for the first time in person, he was so happy as I was also, but the nicest thing about the whole date was that we both forgot about work and just focused on each other...I was so relieved and excited that he was interested in me for me..(His whole idea was surrounded by the fact that he was looking for a partner, but when we met I asked him did he really think we could work together and he laughed and said I don't think so with such a sheepish grin)...Now, he may mention something about business and then he kinda laughs and says well, enough about business...It's like I'm just enjoying his company...the other night I told him it looks like he has a lot to think about and he said, you are right about that...we are meeting again for dinner friday night...he just bought a new house and wants us to go on at least 3 dates before we make a decision...I think it may be more than 3...I certainly hope so. I"m just reflecting because now I know he thought he was just looking for a nice lady to have dinner with, maybe a few laughs, be friends, but he didn't know I just may be the one and he may be the one for me...Scary, but exciting! and very shocking to both of us. I don't even think about work when I'm talking to him, but I enjoy listening to him talk about his day, etc..He thinks we should go to church together over the next couple of weeks and I agreed..thanks for writing Alison. Your opinion is very helpful! (yes, I may be intimidated because he has a high profile)