Age and Relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Age and Relationship
3
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:00am
I'm 23 and have recently been hanging out with a guy who is 33. Now I hear around my age, that age gaps don't mean as much. I do know he wants to have more than just dating with me-- relationship. I've never dated anyone over 28 before. I'm just wondering am I freaking out a bit too much over age, since yes he is in a different position in life. I'm sitll a college student. However, we both havn't been married or have kids. We do get along good too an dhave fun together. Of course he's more mature but hmm... dunno... Advice anyone? Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 10:23am
strawberryblade...

Pianoguy was once married to a lady who was more than 20 years younger than he! But you know something? He loved her very much...and while our time together was brief...it was a "life experience" that won't be forgotten. .

If you think you can accept the fact that the man whose company you enjoy will turn 40 and 50---10 years earlier than you will---and that there will probably be a few changes in his habits, attitude (along with a physical limitation or two)--what's the problem?

The point of ANY relationship is to be with the person you LOVE and who LOVES YOU BACK, right? But if you're bothered by what others are thinking---or if you're insecure about your own feelings...just continue to have fun together! Don't even talk about the possibility of having "rugrats" together!

Hugs and good wishes to you both from...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:15am
I am in your exact situation! I am 24 and the guy that I am seeing is 32 (33 this month) and I am in love with him very much, but sometimes I wander if love is blind. I don't know about you, but they seem so much more experienced with EVERYTHING and sometimes when he uses the phrase "you just couldn't understand" I think that it is a smack because of the age difference. I am not a naive 24 year old...but I wander if I wouldn't be better off with someone more along the mid-to late twenty bracket!

If you make any decisions please share!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:42pm
Although in most respects the age difference is not a big deal, but it still comes down to the fact of experience. Someone ten years older has been through some things that you still have to face. The benefit is that they are wiser, have been there, and are usually ready to settle down. The drawback is that the two of you can't grow together in the same way. Also, if you have children together, the older YOU are when you have them, he's ten years older than that, and may not have the same stamina for young children.

But in the end, it all comes down to how you feel. If you have reservations, then maybe you need to re-examine the relationship. Maybe it was fun for a little change, but seriously you're not ready for that type of committment. Be honest with yourself when weighing this decision. Don't go into a relationship just because HE wants one.

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