Is age really "Just a number" ?
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Is age really "Just a number" ?
| Sat, 10-23-2004 - 5:10pm |
I have been living in my apartment complex for 9 months now. There is this guy that works here and we started out by just saying hi and waiving. well now 9 months later it has gradually increased to stoping at my car window and talking for a few minutes to stopping by my apartment and chatting. now it has progressed into talking about personal issues. and i have found myself looking for him when i pull into the apartment complex. he is much older than i am. im not exactly sure how old he is due to the fact that i cant find the strength to come out and ask him. but i know he must be 15-20 + years older than i am. for some reason it doesnt bother me though. well here comes the wierd part. we were talking the other day and come to find out he is my ex's aunts ex husband. (yeah i know) we were both really shocked. im not really jumping the gun and just going to come out and ask him out or anything like that. im not sure if he has a serious relationship or what.i know he isnt married, he did tell me that. we constantly exchange glances and stares and smiles. he makes sure i need everything that i need. what do i do?
Signatures On
| Sat, 10-23-2004 - 6:04pm |
I disagree that age is just a number; however, I will say that relationships with age differences can work if the two involved are at the same point in their life. I have dated 3 men in my life that were 14, 18 and 20 years older than me. All three relationships lasted quite a while and I wouldn't take them back for anything. I can tell you that you need to first make sure what you are wanting out of life and what he can offer. If you are wanting children consider that factor very heavily due to the fact that if he even wants them your children may lose their father at a very early age. You will also find that at sometime you will want to do things that he is just not interested in due to the fact that he's "been there done that". The key is communication to see where each of you are in your lives and if you aren't very close to the same place I'd say stay friends and avoid having your heart broken.
| Sat, 10-23-2004 - 9:54pm |
I agree a lot with the other person's reply, but would add a few things. Besides being in the same place in your lives I would say it also matter exatly what age you are. If you're 45 or 50 and this guy is65 or 70 then big whoop. If you're 30 and he's 45 still not so big a deal. if you're 20 and he's 35 slightly bigger deal. If you're 20 and he's 40, forget it. There are generational gaps that can kill a relationship through no ones fault whatsoever. I'm mid 20's and have dated 40 something guys. It never works. Not because they weren't great guys. Sometimes it's the vast differences in your childhood and the time period in which you grew up. Sometimes it's just the strange looks you get from other people. I know that shouldn't matter, but it does take a toll. Especially if either of you is uncomfortable with being treated as a "cupcake" or "dirty old man". Throw in the Jerry Springer special you have going on with the ex aunt ex wife dealie and you've got a trainwreck waiting to happen. Enjoy having an older, wiser friend and leave it alone if you're under 30 or he's more than 15 years older.
| Sun, 10-24-2004 - 1:19am |
I agree with sugagirrrl's answer about age. but i am confused about your question? what do you do about what??? What is happening here-an older guy is being really nice to you and smiling at you for the last several months? That is not a date or a relationship. If he is intersted in you for a relationship he certainly hasn't said so or asked you out on a date?? Is he soooo shy that all he can do is smile across the fence?? ARe you both so shy that you can't have some open communication about the basics like his age? That in itself-never mind the age-doesn't sound like a good start for anything.
| Sun, 10-24-2004 - 1:30pm |
no its really much more than that. our conversasions and small talk say alot that i really cant and dont know how to put down. im not really sure what exactly i am asking for in this question. im just wanting to know does age matter when is comes to relationships? im not talking about him and i just jumping into it. of course we would start out at friends as that is what we are doing now. im just wondering if we did take it further would age matter?
| Sun, 10-24-2004 - 1:37pm |
Did you read my answer? If not go back and read it to know where I stand on age. If you did read it, then read it again girl. Age can be very important or not at all. It really depends on what ages we're talking about.
