Age?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2007
Age?
28
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:36pm
He is 40 I am 20. Bad idea? I really like him and we have discussed the age thing, but we seem to match up on so many levels.
He acts mature, but he is still young. You know what I mean?
He has 3 kids. Which he raises on his own. The oldest is 17. It would be super awkward to be a step-mother to a 17 year old.
We are getting super serious so I want to know if this is one of the stupidest things I have ever done before I lose my heart to him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:53pm

Sooo I have a massive crush on my professor and I would SO so would marry him in a heart beat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2007
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 9:05pm
We have been dating for over a month, but it got serious pretty quickly. I am not one that usually falls so soon. The oldest I have ever dated before him was 24. I did not mean for this to happen, but the feelings are so real. My mom disapproves most strongly. She is something like 12 years younger then her bf, but she says it's different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 9:13pm
Ok, just a month and you're thinking marriage already?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2007
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 9:26pm
Not this second. I'm thinking about how difficult it would be to be a mother to a 17 year old. I don't want to lose my heart to have it trampled upon. It's more of a question of should I even be in the relationship or should I break it off before I get hurt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 9:48pm
I mean yah, at first glance it's shocking like OMG 40??
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 10:49pm

If you've only been dating for a month you are putting the step mom cart way before the horse!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2007
In reply to: marievc
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 10:54pm
Thanks for the advice. The step-mom thing just scares the heck out of me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
In reply to: marievc
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 7:42am
You are 20, he is 40, but you've been dating for the whole month (4 weeks) and it got serious quickly. All I can do is 'sigh' here. This will most likely be a short-lived fling - 20 years' gap
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
In reply to: marievc
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 8:51am
It appears you are far more worried about the *step-mom* issue than whatever else is going on. When I was in my early 20s I dated a man a couple of times who was in his 40s and had older kids. It really creeped me out. Not so much the fact that his kids were just a little bit younger than me but why did this man want to date someone so much younger. I think we went out twice and I just couldn't get into it.
LG
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
In reply to: marievc
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 12:14pm

As you get older I don't think age really matters, but you are only 20 years old, your brain keeps maturing until around age 25 or so (if you were 40 and he was 60) that is different because by then you should both be matured. I agree with the other poster, you will not feel the same or have the same outlook on life when you reach the age of 25 as you do now.
I know I didn't, got married at age 17 (thought I knew it all) he was only 6 years older, but the maturity that I acquired by the age of 28 was tremendous. I was divorced by age 30 (there were other factors besides age).

I think you should let this one go for now find someone closer to your age, right now its like you are dating your dad. He has sowed his wild oats, and lived a lot more than you, had experiences that you have yet to have. Back off of this one for now, you have your whole life ahead of you. You are way too young to be even thinking about being a step mother or a mother for that matter. After only 1 month of dating (regardless of age) that is just too much, to soon. Good luck

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