Always bargaining
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Always bargaining
| Sun, 09-11-2005 - 6:21pm |
I wonder if a guy can ever ask me out or offer to do anything for me without the guarantee of sex in return? Today I was chatting online to a guy who lives in the city to which I am flying on Saturday. He said how nice to meet such an attractive woman and how he'd be pleased to show me around town since I didn't know anyone etc. I said thank you and then we exchanged numbers. He even gave me his home number as well as his cellphone number. Sadly after that he showed his hand by wanting to turn up at my hotel near midnight and take me for a drink. I said coffee next day would be better since I would be tired and he said going out late at night was more fun and kept pressing me for a late evening meet as soon as I arrived. He then called me affectionate names and said how good I looked and I said..look...forgive me if I'm mistaken but I get the impression you are offering more than a late night drink and he said so what...Russian women (I am half Russian and half German) were easy lays and I got angry then and of course it all fell apart. Prior to that he was ever so nice and offered to help me in Germany and so on. I have had a long time of this and a year of it in Italy. No one would even take me for a cappuccino without a guaranteed f--k. I do not know how clear I can make it that I DO NOT WANT ONLY SEX and maybe I should tattoo this on my forehead or what?? Why do men try to force themselves on me like this? I have even go to the stage of physical violence with one or two of them and frankly now hate men. I am very sad at what has happened to society.

I am SO glad too, that you didn't agree on the midnight drink. That would be scary to me. Yes, there are many guys like this, who do have ulterior motives, and you have to be careful of these predators. And then there are guys who give you the respect you deserve and focus on getting to know you as a person first. I always take compliments and nice words with a pinch of salt, and not get overly flattered when you do not know the person well. Unfortunately, one cannot tell the character of a guy until we spend time with them. One has to go ahead with a certain amount of trust but be extremely careful which direction ur conversation is taking and once you get the feeling things aren't fine, end it as soon as possible.
I once dated a guy (2 dates and it was over) who always insisted on getting me in his car so he could take me whereever. I had no control. The first day we met, instead of asking me where I would like to go, he said "we are going to my place". He lived in the city an hour and a half away! i was shocked. I didn't even know him well! It was night, and all I had in mind was sitting and talking in his car, or goin out for a short drive as we got to know each other better. How mistaken I was!!! I even told him I want to go back home, but he took me to his place nevertheless. And yup, we all know what he really wanted from me, but I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't write him off. I thought he was just being a man. Ofcourse, I did resist and told him I don't like it. Second date, he was again all over me, forget about a good intellectual conversation or asking me stuff about my work or life. God! I learned then, that I needed to think TWICE before sitting in a guy's car when I don't know him. Girls, Always better to get your own car and meet at a neutral place with people around, during DAYTIME. Doesnt hurt to be cautious.
Now he wasn't a "bad guy" but he was just extremely shallow.
And there are many men like that.