Am I being too direct?
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Am I being too direct?
| Thu, 10-06-2005 - 6:19pm |
Whilst I believe in romance and mystery, I also believe in making clear some ground rules before a relationship is entered into. Now my online man and I are finally about to meet in real life and he has rung me every night and we have talked and talked about everything including our recent relationships and our disappointments and hopes. After a year in Italy I became brutalised by men saying 'do you want a f--k, b--tch?' constantly and I said twice I'd got drunk and given in and regretted it. He had had the opposite experience and dated a woman for 9 months who was frigid and even had trouble kissing, let alone sex. So I want to make it clear that just because I am not frigid doesn't mean I don't just want a FWB and want a real relationship. I am going to his city on Sunday for a week and looking for an apartment and then coming back here and going back to that city to relocate there. The thing is; in the heat of the moment and the romance of us first meeting, I don't want to have sex that week. Should I just tell him I don't want sex next week but that we should give it a month or is that being too direct? He knows I've had bad experiences with the assholes in Italy.

I think that if you have to specify that you are not going to have sex right away with someone you HAVE NOT EVEN MET YET, then something is terribly wrong.
I would not say anything. If he has those unrealistic expectations, then he is not a gentleman.
Make your meetings next week in public places and don't go to his place or have him come to yours, if you think it will be hard to avoid temptation.
Sheri
There's no such thing as being "too direct" when it comes to stating your
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