Am I being too rigid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Am I being too rigid?
10
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 3:53pm

Am I being too rigid?

Almost a year ago, I went on a couple of dates with this guy (I really like him). Then he stopped calling (I think maybe we had our signals crossed, he would call out of the blue really late at night to go out, and I would say no.)

About 7 months later he started calling again out of the blue - late night to go out. He even forgot my name. I basically told him off and thought he wouldn't call again.

Last week he called again, late night to go out. Again I told him no because I just got changed and was ready to go to bed. He still couldn't remember my name. So I think we corrected this. He didn't intend any disrespect and I made sure he changed my name on the phone. We talked on the phone for an hour. He said next time, he will call earlier.

I'm just wondering if I'm being too stuffy and what you would do? I still like him but I don't like that he can't remember my name and that he keeps calling last minute.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 4:18pm
Sounds like he's hoping for a booty call. If he truly liked you, a) he would remember your name and b) he would setup a date a bit in advance of late night, last minute. Trust your initial instincts...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 4:43pm

Call me old-fashioned, but remembering your name is a must. Who did he think he was calling?

I wouldn't mind the spontaneity of the last minute call on occassion, but not on a regular basis and certainly not if he didn't remember my name. What is it you like about him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 4:50pm

Thats what I asked him - I asked him if he meant to call someone else. He said he remembers me but that he doesn't speak to me on a regular basis, hence his forgetfulness. I made sure he corrected my name in his phone. I'm wondering maybe he didn't really know my name from the beginning...

Well, what I like about him is hes tall, goodlooking (lol), easygoing, fun to talk with (even though he tends to babble on), Not afraid to say whats on his mind. I like that he goes after what he wants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 4:52pm
Ok reg, let's look at this though... he doesn't even know who you are. I think that outweighs the other things, no?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 4:55pm

I know, thats what bothers me and thats one reason I keep saying no to him.

But he said he does remember who I am, just not my name. But then again, he should've fixed it or have it automatically programmed in his mind the first time I corrected him....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 4:58pm
3 strikes and you're out girl, 3 strikes...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 5:02pm
I know it. I just need someone to keep me on track here. Thanks. LOL, I know hes going to call again but lets see if he still follows his pattern...then I'll know for sure what I'll do.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 5:20pm

No, not too rigid in the least. In fact, you taking his calls at all makes me think you're not being rigid *enough*!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 7:31pm

You've gone out with this guy and he can't bother to remember your name? That is not a good sign. And he really does have to make an effort to call in advance


It's about consideration and respect. You deserve both

,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 8:03pm
Thanks for your advice. I was thinking of giving him a call but instead I'm going to wait for him to call me and see if he gets it right this time.