Am I Being Unreasonable? Pls. Help
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| Wed, 12-01-2004 - 10:02am |
I don’t know if this is a form of self-sabotage but I had been in a horrible relationship about a year and a half ago and he rarely called me – only communicated via email. He was the pull in/push away type so it left me constantly in a state of anxiety…like walking on eggshells. So now I’ve been dating this guy for a little over a month and he’s great. We have a lot of fun together and he seems like he really digs me as well. However, I don’t hear from him at all some days. It freaks me out cause I see other relationships where the couple email each other several times a day/talk on the phone at least once a day. But for me; it’s different. I hate it. Most women I know need some form of reassurance or contact. So for example, I get one email from him on Monday. I respond. I haven’t heard a word from him since this transaction. Most normal people would respond to MY last email.
So I feel like I’m going to end up in another one of those destructive horrible relationships like my last one so I already want to bail cause I’m not getting the kind of feedback/contact that I need. Not sure what to do. Is my perspective whacked or would you feel the same?

Edited 12/1/2004 10:53 am ET ET by faaabulous
Welll, for me, at this early stage of your r'ship, talking on the phone or emailing every couple of days would be about right, so long as you are also seeing each other a couple times a week. I don't think it's "abnormal" for him to take a day or two to respond to your last email at this early stage, at all.
If you'd been dating for quite a bit longer, then my answer would be different, but at this early stage, I think you are being a bit unreasonable.
Sheri
Bellina here! I'd have to agree with most gals who've posted on the frequency of phonecalls,texts,etc..Given you've been seeing this fellow not that long,however he
does call 2x weekly? If so this is quite normal,and sometimes email isn't as reliable
as the oldfashioned telephone for communicating.I recall relying on email with a previous
fellow,he'd been lazy in responding,later discovered he wasn't on his computer daily.So please chat by the tele.If he ignores your voicemails and takes a week to chat back,then
you can worry.I'd also bring up upon your next inperson date,how he feels about where you're headed,and if there's chances for a more intimate love connection,inlieu of just
casually seeing each other.If you're having great gettogethers,feeling romantic,compatible in personality,interests,etc..super,then he should want to chat more
than 2x weekly.Or perhaps he prefers to chat in person,as some people just prefer this.Not all fellows are so comfortable sharing intimate,verbal banter over the tele,but rather see you face to face. So suggest inperson meetings become more frequent if his job and your schedule permits such. Best wishes, British galpal Bellina