Am I deformed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Am I deformed?
2
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 11:59pm
i had to get people's attention. i need advice and i can't seem to find any on the internet. the fact that i can't find help makes me feel even more alone.

I'm 23 years old and i've never had a date, boyfriend or sex. I've been kissed only but a couple of times, and barely get a look unless its from a man in his fifties. what am i doing wrong. just to let you know, i am overweight. but its not too bad. i think i still look good. and people say they wish they looked like me(whether they are just trying to be nice or not...I don't know). I use to think it was my weight that deterred men from being attracted but now i think its something else. I've always tried to be a good person. My friends tell me I'm laid back, fun loving and outgoing. People say I'm a sweetheart. so what's wrong with me? Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life, or is there some cosmic dating secret I'm missing out on? HELP ME! I'm tired of being alone. Give me any advice. good or bad. i just need a clue.


Edited 9/23/2004 12:05 am ET ET by climbinivy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
In reply to: climbinivy
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 2:17am
hey climbinivy....

i'm sure u are an attractive, good person (especially if u already think that). but obviously something is wrong and it's probably because u r waiting for a guy to come to you. how outgoing r u? go out...go up to a guy...show how confident you are and im sure the guys will read the confidence you portray. what u think of urself is what u r. and definetly do not have the attitude of, "what's wrong with me?" that's insecurity...and everyone can smell insecurity. having confidence in urself is the most important. a guy will come in time.

hope i could help!! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
In reply to: climbinivy
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 2:49am
I totally agree. If you walk into a room and exude confidence then it makes you so much more attractive. Guys like confident women. Who cares if you carry a little extra weight. That's not your problem because some guys like a little meat on their girls. I don't think you have a deformity problem at all. Maybe you're just a little shy. Have a glass of wine or something before you go out to loosen yourself up. Spend some time pampering yourself prior to going out too. Putting on a cute outfit and doing your hair and makeup will make you feel better about yourself and that shows. They way you carry yourself is just as important as the way you look.