Am I doing the right thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Am I doing the right thing?
4
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 5:39pm

Hi everyone,
First off I have to say that I love this board. I have a few people I can talk to about dating but I never know if I'm being judged. I really appreciate the advice that I get from this. Well my dilemma is that I am on a dating website. I really do like it. It's definitely hard to meet people and this is a great way. I met a guy about 2 months ago and I really like him. We don't talk everyday but we hang out like once a week. Which is fine because I am still going on dates. I don't know if he wants anything serious with me but i'm fine with taking it slow because i really have a great time when we do hang out. We have slept together and my problem is if I do end up going out with someone else and like them isn't it terrible if I end up sleeping with them too. I don't mean on the first date but I can't imagine "hanging out" with 2 guys.

Does that make sense?

Thanks :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 7:25pm

Hi Riese,

Well, let's see... if you're seeing someone but only seeing him once a week and every time you see him you have sex with him BUT you're not exclusive... then you're a sex buddy - which, of course, lends itself to dating other people.

The issue comes in when you want more from said sex buddy or want to be exclusive. Figure out if you like him enough to be exclusive.

And if you meet a new guy, don't sleep with him until you're sure who you like best.

Elyse

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 7:33pm

I avoid this issue by not sleeping with anyone unless and until we agree we are dating exclusively.

I just can't handle the "ick" factor of dating someone while I'm sleeping with someone else on a regular basis, let alone sleeping with two different guys. Everyone's different of course, but for me...that would give me the willies.

As for the guy you are already seeing and sleeping with, I would at least find out from him what type of relationship he's looking for down the road, so you at least know if it has a chance of developing into the type of relationship you want. If he knows he doesn't want a serious r'ship, period, and you do want that eventually, then it doesn't make sense to keep seeing him hoping he'll change his mind.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 8:29pm

I don't know if sleeping together within the first couple of months of meeting qualifies as "taking it slow."

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:47pm
There is nothing wrong with seeing two guys, but IMO, sleeping with them is a different story. I'm a bit old fashioned about the sex issue, so you may or may not want to listen to what I am saying. To me, sleeping with someone is a giant step in a relationship, if you are not sure you want a commitment, you are doing them a disservice by sleeping with them, suppose they both become very interested in you? One of them will be very hurt.

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