Am I just being picky?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Am I just being picky?
8
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 8:07pm
Hey Everyone.

I just got out of a four year relationship with my boyfriend. the road to recovery is well on its way and i have been enjoying going out with my friends and have started to meet some guys. i have been dating one in particular. he is a really sweet guy, very nice, smart, fun, and he is a pilot (that impresses me). well, i hate to sound mean and ruthless, but the boy is like a toothpick size wise. he is my height so that is okay but he just makes me feel so huge! i know all girls like to feel small and that is why we are usually drawn to taller, bigger guys. its just kind of like hugging a bean pole. i hate for that to be the reason to not puruse things father, but it really bothers me. its like after being in a relationship for four years i want to make sure that the next guy i get involved with is exactly what i'm looking for. i feel so bad for feeling this way, but i was just wondering if any of you have any advice or have encountered some similar situations.

thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 8:58pm
Hello, I would just date the guy for now and don't worry about it turning into a relationship. If you decide that you like him enough to be your boyfriend then his size won't matter to you anymore. If it continues to bother you then your just meant to be friends.

Thats just my 2 cents.

Good Luck!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:13pm
Oh, one more thing. My friend would never date a guy who weighed more than 160 pounds because she thought a guy was *fat* if he weighed more than that(she's nuts, i know). Well, she met a guy who weighs 280 pounds and she could not be happier!!!! See, my point is that sometimes you don't know what you like until its right in front of your face.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 10:03pm
Can you live with that particular aspect of this guy?Remember that he won't get any taller in time. If you can live with this then date him and see if something good comes out of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:25pm
You may never find exactly what you are looking for. You are going to have to compromise on a few things along the way. So what if this guy isn't *perfect*? Who says you've got to marry him? You're just dating the guy after coming out of a long term relationship. You're still testing the waters to see what's out there. No, you don't need to settle, but you don't need to worry that the first guy to come along is it!

Relax and have fun with this guy and continue to date others as well!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:05pm
YOu are not being "too picky". You are just are not probably very attracted to him, but don't want to admit it. Perhaps because he is a nice guy. But you know, if the chemistry is not there, its not there.

I briefly dated a "beanpole" (in high school) and finally was forced to admit to myself that I just wasn't attracted to him (although some people like beanpoles, that's fine, each to his own).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 4:28pm

I don't think you're being overly picky.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 7:16pm

Well, you've also just gotten out of a 4 year relationship so you really might not really be ready to settle down.

Also, we all have "types" so what you feel is not horrible, it's what you feel.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:39pm
If you are physically attracted to this guy, then who cares how big or small he is? My last boyfriend was shorter and skinnier than the type I'm usually attracted to but he had so many other qualities that I was crazy about that I didn't give a flying "hoot" about what he looked like. The more I got to know him as a person, the more attracted I became to him! And just remember that men are just as sensitive about their bodies as women are, they just don't talk about it.

If he's good to you, you enjoy spending time with him, and enjoy the "physical" part of your relationship with him as well then what more do you need? I suppose in the end, you are the only one who can decide how picky you can afford to be b/c as well all know, a good man is not always easy to find.