Am I just being sensative?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2003
Am I just being sensative?
5
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 12:39pm
Hi All,
I have posted on another forum but I thought I would ask my question here as a simple dating question,if you all dont mind.
I have been dating this man for over 2 months... wonderfull man but I am very hurt at times like this weekend when we diddnt go out...without going into details is it normal to be dating someone,and yes we are dating each other exclusivly and not see each other everyweekend?(the weekends are the only times we see each other because he lives over an hour away)...when we are together he cant let me go,sometimes 4 am before we say goodnight,we have a wonderful conection when we are together..he works long hours and we are down to talking once a week.
Could he just be taking it slow?Is this a guys thing?Any info would be appriciated
thanks much
Kiboo
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 10:21pm
Not only is it OK...but it's as it should be. My BF lives in another state (about 3 hours from me) and between his crazy schedule and mine, it can be weeks or even a month or more before we see each other. Even though it's not a situation that will last forever, and I miss him and he misses me, it gives us a chance to have our own lives, seperate from the other. When you start depending on him to fill all your weekends and downtime is when you really start missing out on finding out who you are. Use that time to figure out what YOU like to do, then do it!!! Go on weekend trips with friends or even alone...take a class...sit at home and relax..whatever. Then when you DO see your boyfriend, you will have that much more to talk about. Good luck!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2003
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 9:05pm
Thanks so much for your reply,made me feel so much better.
Friends and family keep telling me" well hes just not that into you if he doesnt want to see you every weekend","How can he go 2 weeks with out seeing you?"..and" he just doesnt seem to care about you if he is not calling you every day"
So it was nice to hear your point of view and realy thats what my guts telling me,you know, that its ok,so I need to listen to my gut more,its less confusing lol
Thanks
Kiboo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 1:56pm
You should talk to him about this - since the two o fyou ar seeing each other exclusively, ask him in a gentle not judgmental way why you don't see each other every weekend. also did he used to call you more often, you say that's down to once a week as well. That's something of note as well. Do you guys email as a way of keeping in touch on a busy day?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2003
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 7:23pm

Thanks for your reply

Yes he did used to call me much more often,but,I think he doesn't now with good reason.Now working 10 11 hour shift days.And constant shift changefrom one week to the other I do know for a fact that he is quit exhausted.this wich I see when Im with him.He is calling more now again but it is still hard.
We dont keep in touch through email becaus hes with out internet right now.
I miss him like crazy the minut he leaves,so if it ends up that we only see each other every other weekend thats a long wait for me lol.
But I think I will talk jently to him,as you suggest, if he doesnt want to see each other this weekend,I feel Im trying to walk the fine line of him not feeling pressured and me not feeling neglected.
hes a great guy,I realy want this to work.
Thanks
Kiboo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 2:06pm
Yes, you need to be your own person and have your own life. so when you come together it's two strong people coming together in a nourishing, loving way.
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