Am I The Only One In His Life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Am I The Only One In His Life?
30
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 10:55pm
Oh no! I posted a discussion Need Insight on 10/5. Well it's 10/6 and I was messing around on the computer and I went to this random dating site and the guy I have been seeing has an active profile. I was not looking to find a date. I sometimes browse when I am bored out of my mind. When I saw his picture it felt like someone punched me in the stomach and then i laughed. We have not discussed what we are, but he does know how I FEEL about him. WHAT SHOULD I DO? My first thought was to join that dating web site and let him find my profile to see how it feels, after thinking about it. It seemed like a bad, bad idea. In a way he is not doing anything wrong because we are not boyfriend and girlfriend. What do you think and what should i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 11:43am

Definitely see your point stefania, but not all sites are like that. But you are right--you have to weed through the people to find the real ones. To me though, that's just like meeting in regular life as well. Internet dating just opens up more options. (You'd be surprised at how many women out there also treat online dating as a meat market and are just in it for one thing!)


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 2:38pm

I am just curious to hear how the fake profile paned out - I was thinking about doing the same thing but, I changed my mind and decided that I was going to leave things alone and just keep my distance from him and be a little more busier then normal and see if he gose crazy on the dating site then I will know that there is someone better out there for me

Let me know I was afriad if I did it he would figure out it was me as well

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 8:52am
I ended up creating two fake profiles. I made them so he would not think it was me, but I was worried that he would figure out it was me, my stomach was in knots for a day or two. The website he belongs to you can send winks for free. He never responded and i guess that is a good sign. I never go on the site anymore, because it upset me to see that he had an active profile. Hopefully, he just does it at work
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 2:09pm
Did you have a pic with your profile. I know this sounds silly because you obviously cannot show YOUR picture with it. I know a lot of people who simply do not bother to reply to anyone who does not have a picture up with their profile. So if you just had a profile and no picture whatsoever, it really does not say a thing about whether he would reply to your wink if someone attractive sent him a wink!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 2:39pm
Very True.. I did not post a picture, but I have gotton quite a few emails. More than I ever thought. Who knows?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 2:45pm
I wouldn't advise doing it. They don't have an exclusive relationship, they are both free to see other people and it's just plain tacky and game playing to create a fake profile to screw with someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 4:19pm

Well, I created a fake profile but I havent'done anything with it we talked and I thought everything was fine in the past 3 days he has spent his days at work using his site stuff. I am so mad that I just don't even want to be with him any more I can't wink or anything like that because if he gose for it I will be so so mad. I would like to email mail it around to everyone in our profession because we share the same type of work career in the same area

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 4:34pm

I'm in the same position, too. I met the guy that I'm dating from an online personal ad. We never said we were exclusive, but neither of us is seeing anyone else. However, I stopped my online searching - I have no desire to look. He still has 3 personal ads up and checks the mail in them 2-3 times a week. He says that he is not actively searching for another woman, but is "keeping his options open". Yet, he spends time with me, talks to me on the phone for hours, talks about me as if I'll be in his future. What exactly does "keeping options open" mean?? He says that he is analyzing things and will know when his gut tells him what to do. I've been baffled all week by this.

jag

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 4:39pm
It means he is ready and willing to date other people. He's still actively out there searching for more women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 1:37pm

<< What exactly does "keeping options open" mean?? He says that he is analyzing things and will know when his gut tells him what to do. I've been baffled all week by this.>>

It means exactly that ... that he's keeping his options open to date other woman. That he isn't ready or willing to put all his eggs in one basket. Nothing wrong with that, at least it's honest.