Am I The Only One In His Life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Am I The Only One In His Life?
30
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 10:55pm
Oh no! I posted a discussion Need Insight on 10/5. Well it's 10/6 and I was messing around on the computer and I went to this random dating site and the guy I have been seeing has an active profile. I was not looking to find a date. I sometimes browse when I am bored out of my mind. When I saw his picture it felt like someone punched me in the stomach and then i laughed. We have not discussed what we are, but he does know how I FEEL about him. WHAT SHOULD I DO? My first thought was to join that dating web site and let him find my profile to see how it feels, after thinking about it. It seemed like a bad, bad idea. In a way he is not doing anything wrong because we are not boyfriend and girlfriend. What do you think and what should i do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 1:43pm

<< They don't have an exclusive relationship, they are both free to see other people and it's just plain tacky and game playing to create a fake profile to screw with someone.>>

SS, I completely agree. It seems to me that, creating a "fake profile" is just a covert way of snooping on the other person, trying to perform some sort of PI work in lieu of direct conversation. Whatever happened to just a clean, direct approach of asking "are you seeing anyone else?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 2:38pm

But your allowing it???

Why not instead say, well I don't want to be with someone that is keeping his options open. I want to be in a committed and exclusive relationship, I'm sorry that you can't do that right now. Goodbye.

Seems simple.

If you are staying in a relationship simply to have one, hoping that he'll stop that eventually than aren't you changing your own values and feelings about what a relationship you want should be???? Why do that.




Edited 10/20/2005 2:40 pm ET by sniffle_sally
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 4:19pm

I don't even understand why you posted the fake profiles.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 5:02pm
Some of you are getting me confused with the original text poster of this chain. I am NOT playing games with the man I'm seeing and we have an open and honest relationship. We've only known each other for 3 weeks, so it's okay for him to keep his options open... I just wanted to know what it meant IF he is always calling me and seeing me every chance he gets. For someone to say he's keeping his options open, his actions say differently. I am NOT the one who created a fake profile. I am NOT playing games with him. WE have talked about this topic. He is just taking his time in this relationship to see what he wants, I'm sure. I am straight up and honest with him and any man that I see will have to love me for that... I don't do games or rules and if that doesn't snag a man, then so be it. They have to love me for me and they will know exactly who I am from the get go. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 5:43pm
I wrote to Gal-jen (the OP) about the false profile, not you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:09am
If you have a separate issue it is probably best to start a new post rather than intertwine your inquiry with somebody elses concern.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:41am
Back on the subject at hand. I feel if a guy your dating is posting and activly checking his profile means that your good for now but that means he could change his mind tommorrow because, he is keeping his options open. I didn't like it so, I moved on I want someone who is going to treat me the way I want to be treated and if you guys are on to different levels if you feel one way and he feels another by keeping his options open you need to decide if you can wait for him to be on your level or wait to see if you go on like that then he moves on. I didn't want it and I wasn't waiting for it....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 4:39pm
I agree..it could be over right now and I don't know it, because he is keeping his options open. He could have found someone who is more interesting. I am going to wait to talk to him for a few more weeks until after his birthday, because that is a hard time for him. I am hoping between now and then it does not end all of a sudden. Which it very well could. I just have this feeling that we are not over and my feelings are usually pretty good. After the talk if he does not shut down his account then it will be over.... I wish I would have never saw his profile, because it has caused some stress. I hate it because we have a great time together and he tells me that he has a good time with me.. Oh well... only time will tell were this will go...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 4:34pm

I know it's disheartening. You don't say how long the two of you are dating though you do say you don't have a commitment so he's not doing anything "wrong."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 9:16am
We have been seeing each other since the end of Aug. We did date briefly earlier in the summer. He has not told me how he feels. I plan on talking to him after his birthday. The time around his birthday is pretty tough for him. He went to go look at a house he is interested in buying and I had to go with him. But the reason I had to go was because I had to leave my car somewhere to take him home in his car. Do you think that was a good sign that I went with him, because he could have easily have taken me to my car first and not even mention the house.

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