Am I Overreacting?
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|Wed, 06-12-2013 - 6:06pm|
Through a mutual aquantance, I met a woman that I connected with immediately. She is smart, easy to talk to and we have a wide range of similar interests. Like me, she is divorced.
Our connection was undeniable and we quickly realized that we were very compatible in virtually every way.
We were both honest with each other about what we were looking for and about our pasts from the very beginning. Everything from venting about our ex spouses to mistakes we both made when we were younger.
During one of our conversations, she tells me that she used to be a "dancer" at private events. After I asked her to elaborate, she basically said that she had an opportunity to dance nude for high end customers in a city that is far enough away that she wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding out. After the initial shock, I tried to see things from her point of view at the time. A mother at 17 who has the opportunity to make more $$ than she would at a regular job. Hmmm...? I don't know what I would have done given the same opportunity, so I justified it as a mistake that was made in her past. She assured me that she never slept with anyone and that it was limited to just "dancing."
During another conversation we had shortly thereafter, the subject of menage trois comes up and she informes me that she has had multiple 3-way experiences. I stopped asking questions after finding out that she has had the two girl and two man experience. She said that it was something she did when she was younger and basically wrote it off as another misstep of her youth. Okay...
She has also done nude modeling and has told me that she came close to getting into other things. The fact that she has three children stopped her.
Which brings me to my next point: Her children.
As I mentioned before, she got pregnant for the first time at 17 by her then boyfriend who had no interest in being a father. She got pregnant for the second time with twins at 19 by a guy that seems to have been a short fling. He turned out to be abusive to her and the twins, so she gave them up for adoption. At 26, she got pregnant for the third time by her then boyfriend who wound up getting killed in car accident when she was 6 months pregnant. About a year later, she was pregnant again by her now ex husband. Her two youngest children are 18 months apart.
As I said before, I really enjoy spending time with her and have deep feelings for her, but her past leaves me with a gut feeling that I might regret getting more involved with her. The dancing, nude modeling and multiple pregnancies by multiple men are all mistakes that I feel could have and probably should have been prevented. What if anything, does this say about her character now?
Am I overreacting?