Am I too Old Fashioned?
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Am I too Old Fashioned?
| Tue, 08-24-2004 - 3:48pm |
I am a 33 yr old virgin. I had been dating this guy for 2 months and we hit it off in every way except that we never had intercourse, just oral sex. Every time we tried I tensed up. Well he kept pressuring me to make love to him and said once we did he would give me the world. Take me places and buy me anything I want. Well we went away with a bunch of his friends and their families over the weekend and we both thought everything would change. Well I was feeling left out cause I just met these friends and was also feeling ignored. Our last night away we were alone and he kept being very rude to me and the next day he was very mad and said that he was done with the relationship because we didn't have sex. Now i let him know that I had planned on making love to him but wasn't feeling like he wanted to be with me. He treated me wonderful at home but we never went out or visited with his friends. He should have been more affectionate to me around his friends last weekend. He said that once we made love he would be. Can someone please try to explain how I can get it through to him that that is not what a relationship is based upon, sex. Also am I wrong in feeling this way. I feel the only way he would have treated me the way I wanted was if I slept with hime. Somebody please help me figure this all out.

Walk away and find the guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
You body tensed up when you tried to have sex
no wonder - it was a reaction that this guy is a jerk.
My point is...my ex-husband used to say the same things to me. Run...don't walk! Get away from him!
Now...I want to say something else that, I hope, does not diminish what I said above. Men and women are wired differently. Men often feel that to connect emotionally it has to be physical. I believe that on some level - not to the extent of this jerk you've described, mind you. I'm advocating that you run out and give up your virginity - that has to be a decision you make. What I am saying, though, is sometimes you have to look at men from a man's perspective - not a woman's.