Am I too young for this guy?
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Am I too young for this guy?
| Thu, 12-09-2004 - 12:12am |
I just recently started a new job about 6 weeks ago. I'm 22 years old and I have a crush on my boss. It wasn't a big crush until just recently when he started to flirt with me and now I think he wants more than an co-worker relationship. The problem is, he's 50 years old! I know that sounds bad but I really am starting to like this man. Does anyone think a good solid relationship can come out of such a big age gap? Why would he like a 22 year old when he has so much more life experience than me? I've only been in one relationship in my life and that lasted 6 years and just recently ended 3 months ago (my ex was the same age and I). I would love to hear anyone's insight on this-especially if they've dealt with anything like this before! Thanks!!

First of all, it is entirely a BAD idea to start anything at the office. He is your BOSS! Especially, if you plan for a career at this place. If anyone found out you would be the first to go.
This man is too old for you. You haven't had ANY life experience yet. He is just going thru a mid-life crisis and is trying to date/sleep with a younger woman to boost his ego. He is not looking for a relationship with you. What would you possibly talk about? What could you possibly have in common?
This is just a bad idea all around. Steer clear of this guy, you are only gonna get hurt.
Hi,
In response to Clapex's post, I would agree that inter-office dating usually isn't a good idea.. However I wouldn't be so quick to judge that this man is only after one thing, or it is because he's going through a mid-life crisis.
Only you can decide what's right for you, you know the chemistry best.. It's difficult to judge, there is quite an age difference, but that does mean anything (I've always dated men much older than me, it's all about how your personalities and ideas inter-connect), who knows maybe you have tons of interests and ideas in common. The possibilities are endless.
Also in response to Clapex: I wouldn't be so quick to judge just because you've only been in one relationship, a six year relationship can give you just as much or even more experience than several short-term relationships. I wouldn't suggest you steer clear of him, besides the only way you gain experience with relationships is by trying out new ones! :)
Go with your instincts, and what feels right..
Good luck,
Airin
hmmmm... I must agree that is a pretty large age gap. I guess it can't be determined if you are too young or he is too old unless you can see what if anything, you truly have in common. Are you prepared to be involved with someone who does NOT have the same interests in music, athletics, going out etc? Are you prepared to be dating someone who is 50 and arriving at a party where all your friends and their boyfriends are 22-26? It can work but it very well may be incredibly awkward in a lot of ways.
Now then, that being said, I am a Director of Human Resources and dating a boss would be a HUGE mistake. For HIM especially to be dating an employee is a very, very bad idea. He is risking a variety of possible lawsuit actions by dating an employee... trust me on this one... I've heard them all! You may not sue but your coworkers could easily bring a harassment suit depending on how this happens... If you two are serious about dating each other, one of you needs to resign and find another job elsewhere...
I dated a man who was 37 when I was 22... it was great for about 2 months... then it just didn't work for many of the reasons listed above... we were just at very different places in life... he was a nice man and I have fond memories, but no desire to ever renew that attempt at a relationship... good luck to you in whatever you decide.
Every situation is different but I will try to advise you as best as I can. My advice comes from experience. First I have to ask you is this guy a married man? IF he is a married man then I woud say DEFINITELY DO NOT get involved. I would advise you against getting involved with him anyway because he is your employer. IF it dosn't work out between you, there will definitely be some awkwardness.If he is a married man he is obviously just looking for a a good time, and probably thinks he can get over on you because he is much more experienced than you. This guy is old enough to be your father. I am almost 30 and while I am attracted to older guys I would have serious qualms about dating a man that old, My own Dad is 52. He's probably older than your father, and while e are on the subject of fathers, What woudl he think of this? Do you think he would like this guy sniffing around his daughter? I know you are an adult and are resposible for yourself and the decisions that you make but this is a bit extreme.
He is more than double your age, when he was your age you weren't even thought about yet.
A wise man once said " Better to be an old man's sweetheart than a young man's fool" But I would be questioning his intentions if I were you.
In all honesty a man that age that is flirting with a woman your age and especially a co worker/ employee, he is probably just looking to reclaim some of his youth. He probably has daughters older than you not to mention other things like hats, shoes, drawl. .... My point is this, IF a man that old is looking to have something, anything with a woman that he is 28 years his senior it's probably because #1 he's a dirty old man,#2 No one his own age will have anything to do with him. I can understand an older man being intriguing to you, and if he takes care of himself he might even be sexy, but the fact remains you could call him Pop Pop in the bedroom instead of Daddy.Think about this IF the two of you were able to form a real relationship would he be the kind of guy that you would want to show up with at the club? What about even further down the road? IF you got married , at 50, let's be realistic he probably won't live 50 more years!! How long so you think you would even get with this guy? His hourglass is almost out of sand.