Am I wasting my damn time?
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| Fri, 10-21-2005 - 1:22am |
hi there. about 6 months ago, i was talking to this guy and things were going great but one day, we had this huge fight where i said some REALLY nasty things to him. this broke his heart soo much, and mine too especially since the fight was ver a complete misunderstanding. we wern't able to resolve things despite the numerous apologies i told him. we stopped talking to each other for 4 months. one day, i tried talking to him again, he agreed to talk to me and we began to talk about what happened. we finally cleared up the situation and are speaking again.
this is the part that bothers me. 3 weeks ago, we had sex (despite all of attempts t convince myself to not give anymore "freebies" (sex without committment), I was really horny). i didn't hear from him for about 5-6 days later. he claims he's really busy being in university with midterms and assignments plus a part time job so he doesn't have time to talk or hang out currently. he behaved the same way 6-7 months ago when things were REALLY good between us and he was crazy about me. yesterday, i text msged him and asked him if he wanted to have sex (once again, i was horny). he was at my door in no time. today i asked him if he wanted to go on a date with me, no more than 2 hours of his time and i'll bring him dinner and he said he was too busy with school, he doesn't even have time for his friends and "patience is a virtue"
now any sensible person would say "you're an idoit. he only wants you for sex. he doesn't want to be with you" part of me believes that but at the same time, on my msn messenger screen name, i made reference to loving my nephew, so it came across as "i love you "Name" so much" this guy asked me if "name" was my bf. and when i asked him why, he said because he was curious and a bit jealous. i then asked him if he likes me a little bit, and he said yes
do you think he's a)truly really busy with school thus has no time for me but does like me and wants to spend time with me when he's free b) trying to tell me to bug off get a life and leave him alone c)trying to get back at me for making him feel really bad 6 months ago?
if a), i too am in university. i think i'm studying a harder subject than him (i'm studying sciences) and working part time but i can still find some time to say hi or see him if he wanted to. i think if you like someone, even if you're busy, you can sacrifice 5 mins to say "hi, i'm busy but just wanted to say hi"
if b), why would he tell me he liked me and why wouldn't he be a man and tell me straight up to screw off
if c), what can i do??
any suggestions?
confuffled

No I just think that men don't like competition so when you brought up another name he got a twinge of jealousy. Typical response.
I think he's a waste of time. I worked fulltime and went to college fulltime and managed to still be able to squeeze people in, so the "too busy" excuse is lame.
I agree.
People make time for things that they really want to do. It's funny how he was at your door in 2 seconds to have sex, but anything having to do with a real relationship, he suddenly doesn't have time for.
I think you are definitely wasting your time. There are men out there who would trip all over themselves to be with you.
And as for the question of why would he be jealous and say he likes you and just not be straight up with you? Well, he's a man, and while there are exceptions, many men are VERY good at leading women on and stringing them along to get what they want. Either because they are too afraid to tell you the truth or because then they will be left all by their little lonesome selves.
I think you should just cut your losses and fine someone who really cherishes you, because you deserve to be cherished! IMHO
Good Luck! :-)
next time he wants sex , tell him you cant and see how he reacts. Maybe he enjoys spending time with you but is afraid to commit. Go on with your stuff and let him do his stuff and when u guys are together, enjoy it. dont attach yourself too much right now and keep your options open.