Am I Wasting My Time....?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Am I Wasting My Time....?
3
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 2:14pm
Hi Everyone

I met a guy about 6 months ago. My best friend introduced me to him. He is a friend of her fiance.

We hit it it off or so I thought.

We see each other every weekend (when he's not hunting that is! And no he's not a freaky red - neck guy despite this fact!!) and everything appears cool. He is super shy as am I so so I plucked up the courage to ask him to lunch. It took me about a week! He said ok but it never eventuated because he got a job out of town.

My best friend said that he really likes me and keeps reinforcing this. She says that he has told her that he intends to contact me but it never eventuates. He has seemed to given another friend (she is married to his best mate)the impression that we are actually together.

However when it comes to me I get none of these impressions. I have since asked him to the movies and he said ok I will see what I am doing - this has yet to transpire.

This whole thing is really difficult as I was done over in my last relationship and I have since found out that he was done over really badly by his last girlfriend and I realise that these circumstance would have some impact.

I get vague signals from him but I am just sooooo confused by the whole situation and I am trying really hard not to scare him off because he is in fact a really good bloke!

Despite his shyness he is a pretty up front kinda guy so I am kinda thinking he would have told me to go away by now!

Should I forget about the whole thing or just back off for a while and see if he comes round?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Zev

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 2:47pm
Well, whether you are wasting your time or not depends on the type of man you're looking for. I know that for me, personally, I would not be compatible with a man who was so paralysed by shyness and/or fear that he couldn't take the simple step of asking someone who is clearly interested in him out on a date!

I would not wait for or expect anything to happen and date other men in the meantime. He may come around, but why wait for something that may never happen?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 6:35pm
You said, "Despite his shyness he is a pretty up front kinda guy so I am kinda thinking he would have told me to go away by now!"

Don't look to the fact he hasn't told you to go away... look at the fact he has not asked you out or really taken you up on your asking him out. I would not, under any circumstances, consider he is interested at all. It doesn't matter what your friends says, he just doesn't seem to want to get to know you in a dating sort of way.

If you are waiting for him to go on a date with, the yes, you are wasting your time.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 8:04am
Hi, I happen to agree with the replies. You're wasting your time. I had a similar problem. I met someone on vacation. As I was traveling alone, he invited me to join his party. Had a great time and when I got home decided to send him a group picture as an excuse to keep in touch. He e-mailed me back and invited me to come to visit him. Well, after a few attempts at trying to set up a time; nothing happened. But again, during the holidays he would say maybe we would get togeter in the Spring when his cousin (woman) came in for a visit. As far as e-mailing went, I put a stop to that because he was very vague and never took the initiative to e-mail me first. Even though I gave him plenty of opportunity. He also has my home number but never called. We also live close by to one another, but nothing. I kept in touch with him for 5 months. Here it is Spring. I haven't heard from him in about 4 weeks now. And I refuse to e-mail him anymore. I guess I was trying to hard. I know it's not easy to do but you have to get on with your life. I finally realized that they were just nice people and I'm glad I met them. Good luck to you and let me know what happens.