Am I wrong?
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Am I wrong?
| Wed, 10-06-2004 - 2:33am |
I have always made friends easily with guys. I also work in a male dominated industry so I am surrounded at work and have made several friendships there with both married and single men. I occasionally go to lunch or go on break with some of them, but none of them have ever hit on me or asked me out. I have recently started dating a man who has had few if any platonic relationships, so he doesn't understand my friendships. I believe he sees these guys as predators just waiting for the right time to pounce on me. He has expressed to me that these friendships make him uncomfortable, but has said he would never ask me to give them up. Am I wrong to believe that men and women can be just friends? I don't want to give him any reason to believe that I would cheat, but I also don't think it fair to lose these friendships when I know nothing is going to happen. Another problem facing us is distance. We met online and live 200 miles apart. We talk everyday and visit every weekend, but he is still 3 hours away while these guys I have "known a lot longer are merely 20 minutes away" (direct quote from him). Do I distance myself from these old friends to not leave any room for accusations, or do I try to win my boyfriend over to my POV?

Both men and women have a certain amount of insecurities when it comes to ANY long-distance relationship...and Pianoguy thinks the man you're interested in has a few.
While your intentions are probably honorable and you regard all your "friendships" as just that, your long-distance b/f probably doesn't share your point-of-view? So maybe you need to ask yourself if you want ONE MAN who is willing to be 'exclusive' to you...or if you'd like to maintain a lot of friendships in lieu of 'exclusivity?'
I don't know how much flirting (if any) that you do...or whether you use words that might be interpreted in different ways by the different men you know? It's always possible to explain to your 'long-distance b/f' that your friendly personality towards others is just that...FRIENDLY! But reassure him that you feel true love for ONLY ONE MAN...and he has "the exclusive" on that!
Whether he chooses to believe or accept this....who knows? Hopefully...he will!
Best wishes and warm thoughts,
Pianoguy
Women have a tendency to give up their friends for their boyfriends and I think it’s very detrimental. If your boyfriend can’t handle these friendships and continues to harp on them, I would reconsider the relationship with HIM not the friends.