Am I wrong or Is She Just Selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Am I wrong or Is She Just Selfish?
17
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 1:30pm

Met a girl from an online site. Same age range, from same part of country, all looked great!

First Date...awesome, great chemistry, things in common, fun!

Second Date...went to dinner, told her beforehand that i had a surprise to do after dinner (told her before the date). anyhow, the date was going awesome! touchy-feely, laughs, wow! this girl is awesome!

i told her at dinner we were gonna go go kart racing afterwards! i thought a fun thing to do, different! she was very excited about the idea.

we continue to have dinner and were drinking wine. she started to get apprehensive because we were drinking that maybe we shouldn't go 30mph in carts afterwards... we laughed about it, and i said yes, you're right, we'll do it another time.

THEN...she says her friends are out downtown, we could go meet them. now, this was only our SECOND date. plus, the place she wanted to go was a place i don't like at all...very trendy, snobby, and LOUD.

but, i agreed, of course!

we walk into the bar, her friends were half in the tank already.. she did introduce me to them, there were over 6 of them plus a couple of guys. i tried my best to talk to them, but none were really receptive. believe me, i never met a stranger! but, it was like pulling teeth a little bit trying to talk with them. like i said, it was a club, loud and not easy to hear people talk. my date seemed to be having a great time with her friends, and i was miserable. the kicker was that i talked to one of her friends who coaches her daughters soccer team...i volunteer coach for the past 8 years myself, so we had a nice conversation. not two minutes after i stop talking to her, i move over and my date was talking with her. the girl who i'd been talking with over coaching asks my date..'so, where'd you meet leroy over there?'....leroy????? are you kiddin me??? then my date proceeded to lie about where we met (told her at some bar), and never said....'his name is ron,, not leroy, thank you'

she saw this, but not once asked..'hey, are you ok?' , or, 'if you're not having fun, we can go do something else alone together'.... afterall...IT WAS A DATE, and only the second.

so, after 2 hours of me sitting there at the end of the table, bored to tears, we're paying out. thank god! then as we leave, her drunkest friend, 37 with a 9 year old at home, decided to drag us into a college bar...avg age 25. we're all in our mid 30's. so, there i was, standing in a place i didnt belong in. it was awful.

i left her that night and shook my head the entire ride home....is this what she's really like? is she a club rat at 34 STILL?

a few days past and i wrote her an email. in that i said that i'm 36 and not 26 and didn't enjoy those places. i told her her friends weren't very social with me (but then again, they didn't know me or who i was to her!). plus i mentioned the college bar, the 'leroy' comment and some other things. in the end, i basically said i'm not looking for that in a woman, but since she's single she can do whatever she wants...she can!

she called the next night and although she didn't apologize for what happened, wanted to talk about it.

we did the next date. she wasn't contrite at all. instead saying things like...'why couldn't you just go with the flow', and 'you could've left , you know'.. and 'i'm not a club rat, but my friends were there, so that's where they wanted to go'.....plus, she swears she never remembered her friend insulting me by calling me 'leroy'....

should i be upset that in that club she showed no consideration for me as her date? that she wasn't sorry about any of it? is this girl just plain selfish? she's 34, never married....

you tell me...

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 6:02pm
Yeah, either the "universe" or a bunch of sick old rich men who like playing chess with us "little people" - hardee har har....hehehe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 10:39am

Hey! Who you callin' little? I'm 5 feet of "way to big for my britches" on any given day. Okay, well maybe I just have a big mouth. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 10:47am
Hehehe, full of p*ss and vinegar are we today?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 11:01am
Yes, she's selfish which is probably why she's 34 and never married. Nothing wrong with introducing you to her friends, but the second date seems a bit early. I'm thinking that she enjoys and is used to being single and has alot of friends and is not going to give that up for one person. Sad really, but there are more and more people these days who would rather hang with friends and be alone at home than have one someone special and friends to compliment that relationship. I think you saw the real her that night and you were lucky you saw it before you had your heart on the line.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 11:10am

thanks so much, and as more as I talked to her, the more it became clear that she couldn't have cared less about how I was feeling that night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 11:40am
I know, I was just teasing you. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 1:25pm
I figured as much...that is why I had some fun back at you...hehe.

Pages