angry boyfriend, his anger last for days

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
angry boyfriend, his anger last for days
4
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 8:59pm

Hi there all,

i have been dating a nice laid back sweet guy for 6 months, however he has such a bad temper and his anger last for days. I am on eggshells always with him. I am always in trouble it seems, he laughs when I said this , but i was not joking!
we have fights and he refuses to call me back or speak with me for 2 days at a time.
he will only text continuously

he is 37!! he is a great guy and fun but with all his great qualities comes this awful temper, he quickly gets angry and annoyed and if i ask the wrong question he gets mad.
if a plan changes he gets mad again. but i mean silly plans not changing dates and such.
what should i do?
a part of me says gosh why do i make his so mad for so long, and im not innocent either but admit that to him but he still holds his anger!
he refuses to call but he will text and text!
his anger is out of control!

yesterday we fought because he said i laughed at him while he was telling a story.
he was imitating someone and he did a great job so i laughed liked a giggle and he flipped!!!!!!!!he cursed me out and was angry even now he still is!!
then one day i went to his house, because he said lets get together and come over, so i did and he said your here already, i wanted a nap and a shower, go home.
i am 36?? i know this is not normal behavior
he says i misunderstand and dont listen
this can be true
but the fact that he holds his anger for so long is strange no?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 10:30pm
His temper is a bit much and it sounds like he is a bully who is insecure. It shouldn't take 2 days for him to cool off. It sounds like he is abusive so he may not be so great for you to date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 12:19pm

I agree, it makes me sad, but after 6 mons I learned you just dont know someone until then.
he has such grat qualities but his anger issues ruin them all.
he drags on hi sanger and it snow the third day he wont call me back only text.
hes done this before

he also called me at 430 a.m. last eek to teach me a lesson for waking him up at 10:20 the night before, he goes to bed by 10 usually but i didnt want to NOT cal him back

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 6:26pm
OK, this dude has some MAJOR issues.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 7:44pm

stc14, you can be with someone for 6 years and still not know them - for alot of reasons, one of them being that people change over the years and sometimes not for the better.

The texting thing he does is strange.

This guy sounds like he is in a power struggle with you instead of wanting to be in a relationship with you.

Sometimes partners do try to make the other person realize the pain that they have inflicted by not stopping any pain directed back towards them, but usually that comes with a break up and should not be the normal diet of a relationship. I admit I have done things like that - if the guy I am with is inconsiderate and ogles women in front of me, I'll give him a taste of his own medicine, but usually when that happens I have then already made up my mind to break things off with him. I wasn't put on this planet to work hard to try to change men and make them better people or a create a man who can see, think and feel - that's for therapists. I want to find someone who is on the same page as me so I can enjoy life - I deserve that.