Annoyed
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Annoyed
| Tue, 04-18-2006 - 1:34pm |
It's my first time posting here, so hello everyone!
I've been seeing a guy for about a month now. I've never been married, he's divorced. I'm not an active dater, he is. He is doing online dating. I really like this guy and it is annoying the hell out of me that he is out on dates all the time. Slight jealousy? Definitely!
He really got me on Sunday when he told me to call him when I got home after Easter dinner, because he mentioned we could plan on him coming over. I called and left him a message that I would be home around 6:30. He didn't call me back until 9:30 and said he was 5 minutes from home. Ok...I'm thinking a slight blow off for another date. So, I ask if he would want to get together during the week. He hesitated a little bit and said he didn't want to make a commitment. What is that? I told him I wasn't asking for a commitment, that it was just an idea since we weren't able to get together. He told me to call him Wednesday to see if we could plan something.
I'm not calling him Wednesday, because I would feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. Maybe during the week is for his online dating girls...I don't know.
We only talk on the weekends, so I'll talk to him Saturday or Sunday, but I'm kind of feeling like I don't want to call him this weekend. I really like this guy, but if it's not mutual, why keep myself around him? I don't know if I should stick this out for a little while longer.
I've been seeing a guy for about a month now. I've never been married, he's divorced. I'm not an active dater, he is. He is doing online dating. I really like this guy and it is annoying the hell out of me that he is out on dates all the time. Slight jealousy? Definitely!
He really got me on Sunday when he told me to call him when I got home after Easter dinner, because he mentioned we could plan on him coming over. I called and left him a message that I would be home around 6:30. He didn't call me back until 9:30 and said he was 5 minutes from home. Ok...I'm thinking a slight blow off for another date. So, I ask if he would want to get together during the week. He hesitated a little bit and said he didn't want to make a commitment. What is that? I told him I wasn't asking for a commitment, that it was just an idea since we weren't able to get together. He told me to call him Wednesday to see if we could plan something.
I'm not calling him Wednesday, because I would feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. Maybe during the week is for his online dating girls...I don't know.
We only talk on the weekends, so I'll talk to him Saturday or Sunday, but I'm kind of feeling like I don't want to call him this weekend. I really like this guy, but if it's not mutual, why keep myself around him? I don't know if I should stick this out for a little while longer.

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Yeah...he's sure not going out of his way to make you feel warm and fuzzy, is he!!!
I know that even in the initial stages of dating someone, even if I'm still dating others, I do my best to make each person I'm interested in aware of that interest. He doesn't seem to be doing that...so I guess I would be questioning his interest level.
For sure you should be dating others as well if you continue to see him...but it might be best to move on from him.
Sheri
curls7171...
You probably know this already, but at the risk of repeating himself (for the other newbies who visit the board)....here's PG's 2 cents:
NO WOMAN should ever wait around for a man to call her....period!
Why?
Because 'unexpected stuff' comes up...and (unless you're a spouse or in some way 'exclusive')...some of us are going to forget about making the phone call that we promised!
Since you already are aware that the man you're seeing IS DATING OTHERS...give yourself permission to do the same thing. One of 2 things will happen:
1. He'll realize that you aren't going to 'hang by the phone' and wait for him to contact you!
OR
2. He'll become frustrated enough by your lack of response and DUMP YOU!
Either way, you're under no obligation to devote your life to somebody who can easily dismiss you if HE GETS A BETTER OFFER?
Pianoguy
Thanks PG. So, I guess I don't know what to do still. I hear leave him alone from some people and give it time from others. Then you hear of all of these "dating rules" and they all say let him call you...let him wonder what you're doing. But, like you said...people forget. Which has happened.
So, maybe this is just a go with the flow situation. All I can do is be myself, stay cool and laid back.
As for me dating...I don't get that many dates. I don't know why. I've tried the online thing, and I really disliked it. Men that are interested in me, I usually don't have an interest in them. Even at the gym...I hear from friends that this one is interested and that one is, but they don't approach me. Why don't these guys have the balls to say hello to me? I don't want to approach them, because it's word of mouth...what if it's not true that they're interested? Then, I would look like an ass.
hello again, curls7171...
Just a few more thoughts from PG:
1. On-line dating...as successful as it can be for some...is often heartbreaking for others. What you expect and who you get can be completely different animals...err, people!
2. There are men out there who automatically 'sense' that a desirable woman (like yourself) is either spoken for by someone else...or would form a bad impression if she was approached by a total stranger? SO WE'LL OFTEN PASS YOU BY! .
3. It's often refreshing when a woman says: "HELLO" to us. Simply because your greeting opens the door for us to say something back? The conversation might be brief...or...last a lifetime???
Pianoguy
All in all...everyone is different. What is meant to be, will be.
But, if I do see these guys in the gym this week...I will say hello. I'm sure it won't kill me.
Thanks.
<< So, maybe this is just a go with the flow situation. All I can do is be myself, stay cool and laid back. >>
Personally, I think every situation is a "go with the flow" situation. Given the alternative of a) pushing for something or b) expecting something to come of it ... going with the flow almost always has a higher likelihood of success.
<< But, if I do see these guys in the gym this week...I will say hello. I'm sure it won't kill me.>>
Nope, it certainly won't kill you. It's just being friendly. If you appear approachable, that will make SO much difference. A guy isn't going to approach a girl if she doesn't seem to want to be approached ... they have egos and fear of rejection, too!
It's basically just an aura or a vibe you have to exude ... keeping your body language and eye contact open ... including keeping a smile on your face ... showing the confidence of someone who is available, but not desperate. Basically, just a friendly vibe.
And yes, it is VERY annoying when a guy just keeps saying "call me" ... I'd be saying "how 'bout you call ME when you're free!"
Thanks so much, thebethness!
Perhaps one of these days...PG will have the opportunity to write a "relationship column" for a newspaper syndicate that deals with dating, marriage, divorce and other related issues? . So if you know of anybody "influential" who might be interested in a daily or weekly column---I'm open to an offer!
It would be an absolute blast to host a weekly radio talk show concerning these subjects too! To the best of my knowledge...there's NOTHING on the air which features a man who 'tells it like it is'---unless he's holding a degree in 'clinical psychology??' Wouldn't it be neat to have a "real guy" let a woman talk about her situation and then offer an opinion?
So a broadcast opportunity similar to what I've described would interest me A LOT! .
Anyway...thanks so much for your very kind words. I appreciate them more than you know.
Pianoguy
<< To the best of my knowledge...there's NOTHING on the air which features a man who 'tells it like it is'>>
Ah, guess you don't have Tom Leykis in syndication in Maine? If there's anyone on the radio who "tells it like it is" ... it's him. (but, he's not for the faint of heart ... and not exactly pro-relationships or marriage ... if anyone out there listens to him, they know what I mean).
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