Anxiety

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Anxiety
23
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:46am

I am in, what is in my mind, the perfect relationship with "R". i am so happy with him and hes such an honest, sweet, compassionate guy. i have a past of trust issues (ie. stemming from my dad's actions) and its really starting to bother me. R and i have been together for a year and are engaged to be married next year. one night about 2 months ago, he didnt come home because he was out with his dad all night and was too drunk to drive- im so glad he didnt drive but what really bothered me was he never called. he was pissed off at me that night because i was angry that he went over there since i had cooked a big dinner for him and wanted him at the house, but he still couldve called if he wasnt coming home just to say he's okay, where he'll be, etc... the next morning he came home profusely apologizing with a vase of roses and promised me it was a lapse in character and would never happen again. i was so worried that night, i couldnt sleep all night wondering if he was okay, why he wasnt calling or coming home etc etc. he of course hasnt done it since, but i am so worried it will happen again every time he goes out. i dont know why im being so crazy (maybe because im pregnant?) and anxious....on the 27th hes going to his friends house for a poker game and im worried he wont come home. he said i can drop him off and pick him up but what if i drop him off, fall asleep, and the call never comes? i am so afraid every ounce of trust i built for him will be broken. i dont know what to do...am i out of my mind??? any advice would be much appreciated!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
In reply to: leah_king
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 10:13am

snafu- its uplifting to see someone be so strong after all you are going through. youre in my prayers and i hope everything clears up for you. you know you are innocent- so everything will fall into place. im so sorry that you are going through that! i would get the heck out of FLA if i had to deal with all that. come on up here- the weather isnt too cold ;)

starbuck- every time i read something you write i start to feel better. i do need to loosen up- i tend to be a very private person (which is why posting on this board was a big step for me) and i dont let my SO see that i am anxious when i am- i kinda just fake a smile and pretend everyhting is okay. but inside its really bugging the crap oughta me! This is another reason why it would be tough to tell SO im going to counseling because he isnt aware of how much it really affects me. i dont want to make him aware of it either. the only time he knows about it is when he is extremely late and i am very upset when he gets home. if he is late i start to get frantic and panic. i cant focus on anything else. its absolutely ridiculous i know, and its hard for me to admit this because it is so embarassing. but i need to. hes going to be gone tomorrow night from 7- around 11 for army drill training- maybe this can be a good time for me to work on not worrying?

As far as my child goes- i really dont think this will be an issue when she is born because it is only with men that i get this anxiety. it is a trust thing. (rooted from my father and past instances) also, i am aware of this problem and would NEVER let it affect my baby. i dont get this feeling about anyone but the man in my life.

again, thank you ladies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
In reply to: leah_king
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 1:45pm

<< You sound like a totally together person with no issues that require medication. I wish everyone sounded like you.>>

Thanks, while I appreciate the compliment ... I have to resist my urge to address the topic of medications. IMO, there is nothing within our minds and bodies that "requires" medication. We are all capable of healing ourselves without poisoning our bodies.

But, like I said, *this* topic isn't *that* topic. So, in the infamous words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say 'bout that."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: leah_king
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 4:53pm
I don't take any meds for any of the pain I am going through or have gone through for the last 4 years. I don't self medicate with alcohol or anything like that. No better time to work through everything than "now". I do feel though that if proven with a brain activity scan, that someone can actually function with the help of meds, then so be it.

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