Any of you ever experience this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Any of you ever experience this?
16
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 1:32pm

Just wondering, if any of you ever experienced this: - I'll use the lyrics of a song, INXS, "Need you Tonight", especially the part:

"Come over here * All you got is this moment the 21st century is yesterday you can care all you want everybody does that's okay * so slide over here and give me a moment your moves are so raw I've got to let you know I've got to let you know you're one of my kind * I need you tonight cause I'm not sleeping there's something about you girl that makes me sweat * how do you feel I'm lonely what do you think Can't think at all Whatcha gonna do Gonna live my life * so slide over here and give me a moment your moves are so raw I've got to let you know I've got to let you know you're one of my kind."

Substitute "girl" for "guy" if you are a female.

Have any of you ever experienced this because of another person?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 3:34pm
I have had that crazy kind of chemistry before. Have you met someone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 4:22pm
Very funny...."" ;-). I have a crush on someone but our paths wouldn't normally cross and really don't actually meet. It is not like me to be this way. Usually I am very practical in my crushes, meaning that it has an actual chance of blossoming into something (whether it be sex or more) and the person is in my immediate vicinity, so it makes sense. This doesn't make sense on a practical level. For instance, as an adult, I have never had a real crush on any actor, rock star or anyone remote from me, like that. I guess because no one has ever really caught my attention and, also it is not realistic. I mean sure, we all thought that maybe a certain actor was cute or hot, but it wouldn't be more than a thought that lasted maybe 60 seconds. Isn't "chemistry" when it involves how two people relate to each other? Well, I haven't spoken to him face to face or anything like that. But then again, I haven't done online dating and I am sure people feel a chemistry doing that, even if they are not talking in person to each other. This is just the wildest feeling. And I don't understand it. But, there's no point in wasting a good feeling so I'll just sit back and enjoy it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 10:51am

Chemistry can be how people relate, but there can be that kind that is an irrational crazy attraction that you just can not expalin with logic. Sounds like that is what you have. You are absolutely right though, no use wasting the feeling. Ask youself, what would YG do? Well, she would find a reason to talk to him of course! See if the chemistry translates into a real life connection. What have you go to loose? Have fun with it!

Hugs,
YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 12:50pm

Love and attraction are many things - but practical is not a term I'd use for either!

Yes, I have had immediate, intense chemistry with a few men in my life - my most recent SO was such a case. The thing ro remember with chemicals is, that even those that combine to form good things still need to be handled properly - otherwise, you can get burned, knocked out or worse, it can be very volatile and blow up in your face.

It is a nice feeling - and even better when teh physical attraction and the emotional attraction are fairly even.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 5:39pm
He is not in Florida. But I will just enjoy the fact that I actually have an interest in someone even though I have been battered and abused here for the last 5 years. It is the first time in a very long time. At least I know I am still healthy human being.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 5:46pm
I know what you mean about love and attraction not being practical. Thanks for the advise about chemistry potentially blowing up in the face if not handled properly. In regards to your SO, are you two still together? In terms of the physical and emotional, I would say, based on not really knowing the guy, that the two are equal. What is weird for me, is that I am very comfortable with these emotions, even though I have no control over them, I'm just letting them "be".
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 9:11pm

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unfortunately no, I broke things off recently because its clear that we want different things. We've talked aobut it a few times before, but things would wind up right back at the same place. sigh. It became clear that I couldn't continue the way things were and he wasn't willing/able/ready to do anything different. I wish it were different - but wishing ain't getting (as we used to say in grade school).

so - it was/is hard to leave someone I care deeply for (and whom knocks my socks off physically ;) but the whole package has to be there on both sides or its gets unbearable. I feel certain that the man I end up with will have all of it - including the WOW!! physical connection.




Edited 4/16/2007 9:14 pm ET by tonitoons

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 9:53am

Too bad, it sounded like a great relationship. I don't mean to get too personal, but are the "different things" that you two want set in stone? I mean, kids or no kids, that is pretty concrete and usually doesn't change. But sometimes plans change in one's life. It would be a shame to lose someone because of something that could be worked out.

Take me for instance. I build my roads on "today" not tomorrow, next week or next year or wishing for something different. I take what is known by me, personally, or in person , factual - today - and then use that to pave my way in life. If I sat back and rested on my laurels I wouldn't get anywhere. Like, I'm sure you read in other posts about the crime that is being perpetrated against me. I don't know if anyone is helping me out there. I do not get any information from anyone in my life if anyone is helping me. Because of that I do not rest and I will not shut up about it because the list of victims keeps growing because the state of Florida is worth nothing and won't stop a crimewave by doctors on its citizens. My mother's mind must be fried from all of this because she actually believes that I have to have heard SOMETHING by now. Absolutely not. And I am not faking about not knowing just so I look innocent. So because I know nothing and no one has said to me in person, "Linda, we're helping you. Don't worry." I do worry and I do still feel victimized and because no one tells me anything I will continue to be an angry b*tch because everyone helps to terrorize me with witholding information that could help me extract myself from this crime.

I know I took a tangent off of romance, but it also has to do with romance because if someone out there likes me, I don't know it until he says it, to my face. Until then, everything is speculation and I do not plan a life on speculations. And you know guys, one day they are crazy about you, the next minute "huh, who are you?". I know I want to leave Florida, and since I have nothing and noone (as of today, 9:49 am), NY is my next stop in about 5 years. Sure, if I met, in person, a guy who was great, my plans could change, but until then, it is NY.

So you see, my crush and I have not spoken directly, face to face, and I would not base my actions in life on a crush on someone where I have no real clue as to what is really going on in his mind. That would not be responsible or sane. For all I know, he doesn't know I exist or if he does know I exist and maybe he has a liking for me, but not enough to actually make real contact with me. So for now, I will just enjoy it for what it is.

But it would sure be nice to have a "WOW!!?" physical connection.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 10:17am
yes - set in stone. Tried several times to meet in teh middle and it usually ended up with me doing all the meeting. We just aren't right for each other for the long haul - things were missing that I need to be part and parcel of a committed relationship. he's a good man - and I truly hope he finds everything he wants and needs in a woman. Its not me.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 7:55pm
YG, you should also know that I have no idea what this guy really thinks of me. No one has said anything to me to the effect that he has an interest in me and he has not communicated directly to me anything of the sort. Since I really don't know anything first hand, it is a long shot, but I did email him. So, we'll see what happens. If I dont ever hear from him then, c'est la vie, at least I did make an overture to chat.

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