Anybody start to feel like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Anybody start to feel like this?
2
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 10:54am

Hi All,

Some of you may have read my post before on not being sure about my attraction and not feeling like I was able to kiss the guy I am currently dating. Well, at the start of my fourth date with M I knew I could kiss him, something just came over me. Our fourth date was a marathon date, he picked me up at 1:30 on a Sunday afternoon and I didn't get into my place until 4am. I had a great time...I really think I like him. He is so easy to talk to and has so many things I want in a person. I feel like I can totally be myself around him. Tuesday he called me and we have date 5 tomorrow night.

This morning, I found myself feeling nervous. Like, starting to question things, like does he really like me....etc. I guess I'm just starting to feel insecure. He has done nothing wrong, I think it's just because I realize I really like him and am beginning to get scared. I've seen myself do that in the past, where I begin to show that I really like him...and then sometimes begin to show my insecurities and then he loses interest. I am really trying to keep it cool, but I've been hurt so much it just scares me. Also, I really *think* that he's different and that he totally digs me, at least right now anyway. To add, I feel like I want to show more that I like him, like give him a hug or reach for his hand....etc. We did not kiss until date 4 and I think that he only tried that because I began to touch his arm and shoulder during the date...etc. I guess I am scared to show that I really like him because he'll run...that's happened so many times. But, I guess if he does run it wasn't meant to be anyways.

Do any of you have any mental tools that you use to help you through times like this?

Thanks for any input.

Pers :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 4:31pm
Try not putting so much pressure on yourself. Remind yourself that he wouldn't want to make a date with you if he weren't interested and hopefully, you wouldn't make a date with him without being interested either. Just remember that you're fun and a great person to be around whether someone's going to kiss you or not. Do what feels natural rather than what you think is "expected". Like you did on your last date, remember, a few hints (like flirting, compliments, etc.) can go a long way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 9:36pm
i know exactly how you feel about starting to feel insecure when you realize you like someone. just try to ride it out and not worry so much about how you're coming across. if he's a good guy who really likes you, he won't be put off by it. he probably can't tell anyway. most people feel insecure in the beginning of a relationship and if he's the right guy, it will go away.