Is appology good enough?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Is appology good enough?
5
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 9:18am

Hi everyone,
I have been with a wonderful guy for a month. Everything was great and happy we were talking about future together. We promised to eachother not to keep secrets and to be honest. We were honest to each other he was in dishonest marrige so do I. There was something I haven't told him waited until the right time comes and I was in antidepressant for few months and I am happy feel great as a reason my doctor told me to stop taking them slowly. Few days ago I invited him for a dinner we had a great dinner and with out realizing I snapped on him I got mad. I didn't know what I was doing at all he was in shoke and I told him I am in medication. He said why I didn't tell him before. Since then he is different person. I saw him last night that I am sorry I take full responsablty and it won't happen again. He said It is ok but how often it is going to happen he said.
I don't know what is my next step I got use to see him everyday (I am in love with him he doesn't know yet) now he is little withdrawn himself from me. We are very compatible people. He didn't care even I have a child he accepted him with me. I just don't want to lose him it is hard to find person compatible. What can I do not to lose him any advice will be great.

Thanks.
Rube

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 9:27am
Your guy probably feels like me, loss of temper is not something I accept in a SO. You apologized and that is all you can do. The only thing you can do is make sure it never happens again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 9:38am
Thank you for giving me your advice. It is killing me about what happened I don't accept in my life like that temper that is why I feel disgusted and sad.
Rube
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 1:52pm

I think, rather than saying you don't know why it happened and it's just something that came over you, you need to figure out WHY it happened and let him know what steps your taking to be sure it doesn't happen again.

If someone did that to me, my concern would be that this person doesn't want to take responsibility for what happened, therefore, they can't control it, and it could happen again at any time.

My advice is to think hard about concrete steps you can take to control your temper: e.g. - switching to a different medication, exercising daily to help alleviate stress, talking to a counselor, communicating more effectively with your bf...just some suggestions.

Best of luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 3:39pm

It seems to me like he might be kind of scared because he does not know excactly whats wrong with you or whats going to happen. I think you need to educate him about your illness. I use to work with a psychiatrist and i know that depression and bipolar dis can be very hard to deal with sometimes

good luck.
kay

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 1:52pm

Well I don't think you can 100 percent make sure it's something that will never happen again. That puts an awful lot of pressure on you.

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