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| Mon, 12-20-2004 - 2:10pm |
I've been really stressed, and lately I've asked other people I don't even know for advice (not on a relationship board)... This is not like me, as believe it or not, I HATE talking about my problems. (The weather is -30 degrees, that's not bad for me, I'm okay standing out here..., no a couple all-nighters in a row is not bad (if someone even knows..., no one I've been close to has ever passed away, that bruise does not hurt, etc...)) I just deal with them. I don't want to be a whiner, complainer, or bring people down. I've always been a listener - trying even to help others when I can (I used to have somewhat a reputation for that when I was living elsewhere)...
Well, I received an email from someone I asked for advice (I've never even met her). Now I'm really embarrased, although I do want her advice and point of view. I was really excited to hear from her, but I'm incredibly uncomfortable. This is really personal. I'm scared that I'm expecting too much and don't want to bother them by being my 'personal shrink'. I have no friends, hardly talk to my family, and only have a boyfriend (who I'm having problems with...) I just work.
To make it worse, this is someone that my boyfriend works with that my boyfriend has bragged incessantly about. Will my boyfriend hate me for this?? Will she?? Am I embarrassing him?? Am I wrong in doing this??? Is everyone that learns I exist going to hate my guts? (if they don't already)!!!!
What is going wrong with me and what should I do???
I'm pretending I haven't checked my email yet (I've been checking it seems like every 2 seconds to see if she would write back and what she would say.) Should I just say "I'm sorry I bothered you with this, nevermind. Thank you for your time?" or something similar? Should I try to "table it" and just do my best not to bring it up? Especially during the holidays...
I don't want to do anything to make my boyfriend look bad, either (although I'm upset with him). He likes working with her. I want him to be happy (although I wish it was with me). I am having problems, though... It's one thing to post anonymously to ask for help, and completely another with a name and face... I am getting so embarrassed, but I still hurt...
Please help!!!
Thank you for your time.

It's probably best to ask someone you don't know advice. Friends tend to try to kid glove responses whereas a stranger will give you the honest truth from what you have asked and given them for feedback. I would be leery of asking relationship questions of someone that knows your boyfriend however.
It's okay to ask people's advice, it doesn't make you a burden unless you are constantly harrassing them with your issues. We all go through tough times and need a helping hand.