Apt. Keys

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Apt. Keys
6
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 2:36pm
I was living with a guy friend and my boyfriend of 6 months told me that if i continued living with him we couldn't be together because he couldn't trust me. I moved in to my own place and he asked for a set of keys and i made copies for him but he wont take them. Then jokes about me not letting him have them because i'm afraid he will pop up and catch me with another guy. Whats his deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: andace81
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 4:42pm
So let me get this straight... you allowed some guy's insecurities rule your relationship and you moved out of a place to please this guy. I'm going to assume that the reason you HAD a roommate to begin with was because you couldn't afford to live on your own, so why would you take it on on your own??? Then this insecure guy goes on, after bullying you to move, to say that he doesn't want the keys cause he'll walk in on something.

Do you not see something wrong here???

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: andace81
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:17pm
It sounds like he never asked you for your apartment keys in the first place. He just told you he felt uncomfortable that you were living with a male friend. To be honest, I thnk he was being unreasonable about that. People live where they have to, if they need a rommate, they need a roommate. You probably lived with this male friend because you were able to save more money this way by splitting the rent. I think your bf should have accepted that. As time went on, if your bf were to become more serious with you, he could ask you to marry him and move in with him. But until a man puts a ring on your finger, in my opinion, he has no right to ask you to drastically alter your lifestyle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: andace81
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:52pm
I had already planned on moving out because my roomate all of a sudden had a problem with me having him over and we would argue real bad. My bf wanted to confront my roomate but i discouraged him from coming over to my place because of his recent jeolousy issues. I had to prolong moving out by 2 months because of other crap and i guess he thought i had something going on with my roomate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: andace81
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:57pm
No matter how it happened, you should not do things for anyone other than yourself. I know that seems selfish, but look at it this way- unless you are married what do you owe this guy? Sure he's your boyfriend, but for how long? If you were living with someone because you couldn't afford your own place, why jump when your boyfriend says,"I don't like you living with some guy?" Did he ask you to move in with HIM? No.

Also, you may want to question why your roommate started having issues with your boyfriend coming over? Don't discount what he has to say, our friends are always looking out for our best interest. Maybe he picked up on something about this guy and you're not listening to him about it. Think about it..

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: andace81
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 6:44pm
Actually he did ask me if I wanted to move in with him. I moved in with my friend because I was new to the city. Unfortunately I ended up having a problem with the traffic he brought in and his bad habits and wanted to move out. Money was never an issue, we just happened to hit it off and i didn't have a problem having a roomate. I was single for a while and when i wasn't he had a problem. He did tell me he was interested though. I was honest with my boyfiend about how my roomate felt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
In reply to: andace81
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:19pm
The keys are the less important items here, the bottom of the situation is that your bf is controling you; he's insecure and he made you move out of a place giving you an ultimatum and you fell for it. Now that you have done what he wants, he still controls you and makes "jokes" about you cheating. This guy is a a controlling freak who hides his feelings and is controling. Why do you allow someone to rule your life? I'd dump his a$$, move back to the place and look for a man who isn't threatened by the presence of another male in the household.