are boys really that simple?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
are boys really that simple?
3
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 2:14pm
i have been dating this guy for three months. given the fact that i'm a little new to the dating scene after getting out of a long relationship, there have been a lot of things he has had to teach me. i appreciate that and his patience with me.

i am quite confident that he likes me. i also know that i am more attached to him than he is to me. i still don't feel "good enough." he is a very attractive guy, and there are plenty of girls out there that would love to be in my position. i guess that i am kinda threatened by all these girls that aren't afraid to try to flirt with him. i know he is a very good guy and will never go off with these girls. he doesn't even flirt with them.

he tells me he wants me to be more assertive.

but if he tells me that he feels we shouldn't hang out until he gets his work done, does that mean i should completely leave him alone? i don't want to bother him but i don't want him to think i don't care at all. what about when there is something that's bothering him, i know what it is (b/c he's told me way back when) but he never tells me, is it ok to ask? again, i want to show that i'm concerned, but i don't want to pry.

how do you strike a balance between being assertive but not in-your-face?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 4:19pm
sunnyand85...

Pianoguy wonders if there truly is "a balance" since the chemistry a man and a woman have with one another can shift constantly.

Suggestion? If you're not communicating with him very much right now...increase the communication by 50%. If you're communicating with him TOO MUCH...decrease it by 25%!!!

The man will notice the difference one way or the other...and if he starts complaining, stare at him sweetly and say:

"Sweetheart...I'm just doing what you asked me to do!"

If he complains after that...you're seeing someone who will never be satisfied...or pleased...with your behavior!

Good luck (either way) from...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 4:34pm
pianoguy,

thanks for your reply!! i guess i would never know until i try, right?

do actions speak louder than words for guys? it made me really happy when he started calling me "babe" or "baby" all of a sudden...

why do girls analyze EVERYTHING? estrogen can be annoying!!

anyway, i really enjoy your responses (to other posts). thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:36pm
sunnyand85...

Thanks for the very nice compliment. A different ivillager was very upset with a response Pianoguy wrote earlier today...(I think she said something about "getting a life?").

Needless to say...your very kind words off-set her remark IN A VERY BIG WAY!

I appreciate your very warm thoughts very much.

Pianoguy