Are my expectations unreasonable?
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| Mon, 12-26-2005 - 11:01pm |
I recently met a guy through an internet dating service. Unfortunately, I live in Minnesota and he lives in Maryland. We met 3 months ago and so far we've met in person one time and we've talked on the phone everyday. Even though I feel we are very open with each other and talk about pretty much everything, we still have not discussed where our "relationship" is going. I want to know if he is considering a long term relationship with me, but when I ask him how he's feeling he tells me, "I don't know I’m still getting to know you and I'm feeling things out". He says that he wants to get married again (he's divorced) and have children but I'm wondering if he is considering those things with me. I am interested in a long term relationship, not a phone buddy. If we are not on the same page I don't want to waste my time. However, I don't want to keep asking him how he's feeling and push him away for impatience. I do understand that we’ve only spent 3 days together in person but we’ve talked everyday for 3 months.
Now, after that long explanation, is it unreasonable for me to want to know where this relationship is going after 3 months? Should I apply a little more pressure or do I need to be more patient?
Longing to be a "we"....

withni7,
Pianoguy wants to know something?
How can you "possibly apply pressure" when you live in one state and he lives in another?
Are either of you willing to relocate in order to be closer to the other? That's the first question you should ask.
The second question is....since you've only seen the man once in 3 months, aren't you expecting MORE from a short-term friendship? A half-year or a year, I can understand...but 3 months???? C'mon!!!
Look...if you want to risk ending the friendship you have together...go ahead and apply pressure. Just remember that the harder you push...the more likely he'll see your "true colors" and stop making the phone calls!
And will that make you happier?
Pianoguy
Does it ever occur to you that this man is interested in a woman from Minnesota because he doesn't really want the responsibility of a serious longterm relationship but definitely likes phone calls?
If you aren't getting what you need from this man after 3 months, then maybe you should search elsewhere.
PG:
Her "true colors" are she wants to know where this thing is going after 3 months. Not unreasonable colors at all.
It is possible he just likes talking about relationships and not having them. I speak as one who has met many such types online. They talk a lot but do very little.
Sorry Chamey...
BUT PG DISAGREES!
A woman can desire commitment after a lot of phone calls and one face-to-face visit, but this doesn't mean a man has to provide it!
If any woman feels she's wasting her time by participating in an out-of-state friendship or relationship...then she should focus on men who LIVE in HER TOWN or at least in HER STATE!
Pianoguy
I think you've been asking the wrong question of him.
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