Are these normal dates?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Are these normal dates?
9
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 7:56am
I met this guy 6 weeks ago & I've been to his house once & when he finally asked me to do something two Saturday's ago. He suggested making me dinner at my house since he had not seen it yet. I thought it was a great idea b/c I just renovated my home & I wanted him to see it & plus I had to get up at 7am the following morning. He brought all the food over & we had a great time, good conversations, great dinner & nice kisses after. Well he called me Sunday & asked if I wanted to have dinner tonight which I agreed to but then he mentioned coming to my house to make dinner together again. I agreed but now I want to tell him I'm in the mood for sushi so we can go out to eat. I like to be taken out. But my question is are these normal dates to go to someone's house & make dinner or is this just an excuse to try & hook up or is it that he doesn't like me enough to take me out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 8:42am

I think making dinner together is a great date activity, as it's relaxing, involves team work, and is intimate. You get to spend time getting to know each other. And maybe this guy had such a great time making dinner with you the first time, he wants to have that again with you.

As for whether he is using that as an excuse just to get into your house and hook up, only you can answer that. Did you get that vibe last time?

I don't see anything wrong, though, with calling him this morning and saying that you woke up craving sushi, and if he hasn't already bought the ingredients for dinner, would he be up for going out instead.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 9:55am

Those kind of dates are "normal" if you've been seeing each other for a while and you're settled in, but not in the beginning of a relationship, IMO. But even then, it shouldn't be the *only* type of date you have!

Has he taken you out at all in six weeks? If he hssn't done so, or has only done so 1-2 times, then IMO he's either really cheap or just interested in the hooking up part of the evening.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 1:17pm
Sheri I completly agree with you but there is no hooking up going on (just kissing) & there won't be any hooking up b/c I'm just getting to know him. I guess I feel like if he wanted to take me out he would ask & I feel like I shouldn't have to suggest or hint around. Then I'll feel weird when the bill comes...nothing I've ever felt weird about before. Most guy that ask me out just tkae me out & I don't even think about the bill b/c they asked me. I almost feel like just cancelling this so called date. THe whole thign is too confusing
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 2:21pm

Then my guess would be that he's cheap (or broke), and/or that he's hoping that the hooking up will happen sooner rather than later since you're having "at home" dates.

I'm with you on feeling weird about suggesting it...I'm not sure what the solution is, other than to say that you'd really rather go out and then leave it up to him to suggest outings. Ugh!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 2:55pm
I text him & said I'd rather go for sushi & asked if it would be ok & he said he had sushi last night & that he already had the pork chops marinating but next time. Either he's telling the truth or completely trying to use my house as an easy way to make moves on me or he is totally cheap. this is actually hysterical to me. I'm just gonna play along cause this guy isn't getting anything sexual out of me tonight or any time soon. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 3:42pm
Does he have financial problems and can't afford to go out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 7:59am
I actually told him it was too chaotic at my house for him to come over. I told him my Dad was still working on things in the back yard & on the deck so it wasn't a good night. He didn't offer going out to eat just said he understood & asked me if I wanted to get together on Saturday. I told him yes but I have a feeling it going to be the same thing. I don't know if he has financial problems and I'm not about to ask him. All I knwo is he owns his own home as do I & he has a roommate so I don't know what hsi situation is financially. I don't have financial problems & I certainly don't want to get involved with someone who does. I'm a hard worker & I derserve to be taken out on dates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:21am

....."I don't have financial problems & I certainly don't want to get involved with someone who does. I'm a hard worker & I derserve to be taken out on dates."..... Yes, you do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 12:12pm
It's cozy and intimate to hang out at home but also tell him you feel part of the getting to know you process should involve going out as well.
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