Are we rushing it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Are we rushing it?
2
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 3:53pm
Nothing in my life is ever simple so why should this be any different. Back in college I met this great guy, but at the time was too wrapped up in my own insecurities to realize how wonderful he was. We had dated for about a month and I ended it, but we still stayed friends, seeing each other once in a while. I started seeing someone else and moved to another state, so we didn't see each other or talk for about 2 years. We began emailing each other again out of the blue almost 9 months ago. It started strictly as friends. Then I told him I was moving back to the area and needed help finding a job. He sent me a ton of numbers to call. We got together when I came up in March, and really had every intention of just being friends.

That really didn't work and we began seeing each other again. We managed to make it work long distance for a few months and now I'm back and we see each other as often as we can. I'm really happy with him and he's happy with me. I really want to make this relationship work this time and I know he feels the same way. We've been together for about 3 months and I knew I was falling in love with him the day I got back and he was waiting for me. He told me the other night that he loved me, and I feel the same way.

Do you think we're rushing things? We held off having sex until recently it was a while for both of us and a little akward at the begining. Actually until we started talking about how we felt and what we wanted from the relationship it didn't get better. I've been in so many bad relationships that started off well, but I have a feeling with him it's different. We see our family and friends' relationship and are making a strong effort already to communicate and try not to make the same mistakes twice. (though there are plenty others we know we'll make.) Just looking for advice, are we on the right road or am I making the same "college-kid" mistakes I made in the past?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 11:03pm
Just from what you've said...no, doesn't sound like you are rushing. Sex is for whenever you are ready...there has never been an official time limit for it. Are you living together? If not, I would keep that pace slow just for a bit, say until 6 months or so...just so you have a better idea about his personality in person again. And keep an eye on how he keeps his place..that would be a factor before sharing a place.

Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 10:02am
Sounds fine to me.
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