Arranged Marriage - Now I'm in LOVE HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Arranged Marriage - Now I'm in LOVE HELP
3
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:31pm

I was put into an arranged marriage (I know...this day and age in AMERICA? It happens...)
Now, I have a huge dilemna...I think I am in love with my husband. He had a steady girlfriend, and they just broke up, but I am scared that he will find someone else.
He told me when he and his girlfriend broke up, and I was happy, and he told me that he wants me to be with JUST him...that I can't go outside the marriage. But he didn't say anything about him and his relationships. Maybe I am just reading into this, but...I want him to love me back, and I want him to not want anyone else!!! Please help...I need some outside advice, and I can't ask my mother because she is the one that arranged the marriage. Arghh...


Help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 2:03am

wow i don't understand how you put up with a guy who is married to you have a girlfriend and for you to be okay. :( sorry if i sound harsh.

Here are the reason you shouldn't be in love and should leave the marriage.

1.You cannot have the same benefits as he does. (he can have girlfriends but you can't have boyfriends).
2. He had other relationships and sex while you are married. (marriages are mostly monogamy).
3. If he is free to do anything, so should you be free to do anything too.
4. Arrange marriage doesn't mean you have to be 2nd class citizen of your husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 2:53pm

I'm guessing that if this is arranged, that you can't just pick up and leave and ask for divorce as it might not be allowed in your culture or religion that endorses arranged marriages in the first place.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 11-01-2007 - 5:47pm

Well, honestly I don't think that you should take the break up as necessarily having anything to do with you.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo