art of staying happy single?
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| Sun, 04-29-2007 - 8:15am |
its 3months since i'm back in the single's world. since couple of last days i wonder if i'm starting to need a guy again to feel complete. these past 3 months i was doing good as single - i actually enjoyed it. finally had time to go 3 times a week to the gym, went out a LOT, made new friends, traveled, prepared and passed exams,looked for a job...
i really want to stay happy & complete on my own. coz i'm afraid that if i dont-when i meet the "next" guy in my life i will assume he is the one and will fall into the trap again. but often i cant help those 'down' moments when i'm tired that i'm the only single in all the outings, that all around are hugging & kissing non stop and that on sundays i'm mostly on my own since all "couples" have romantic plans. hmmm... how to shake off this feeling?
i think i'm almost over my recent ex but i often dream of him and wake up upset. coz in my dreams i'm with him but i'm not happy (some of u might remember my posting when i refused to continue relationship with a guy who said he wants me around but roughly speaking "without any responsibilites involved"). I say 'almost over' because i still think and analyse my ex at times. i still dont want to come across him (havent seen him since end Jan).
how to maintain the feeling 'i'm happy and NOT bored on my own'? i think i'm ready to date again but i dont see anyone around for whom i feel butterflies in my stomach...here u go - i'm talking about next guy rather than re-focusing on myself!
i'm a "social butterfly" and need people around me not to be bored - MAJOR problem that i try to overcome to past 27years :)
ur thoughts, reflections are very very welcome. i need a good shake...

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"My 'purpose' is to do the things my authentic self enjoys - and for me that includes being of service, teaching, mentoring others. I do this not because I feel I owe anyone anything - I do it because its my nature." - This is EXACTLY what I am talking about. Being authentic means being able to fulfill your passions and simultaneously impact someone.
I'm not a big fan of Oprah right now. I feel she abuses her impact and reach on people because she keeps saying that we are responsible for our own lives. She was on Larry King this week and I could only watch about 15 minutes of her. She was recalling how she got the role in the "Color Purple" and how she "surrendered" to the moment (something called "The Secret" - some concept I know nothing about) and eventually Spielberg called her back. She credits this concept of The Secret, when she fully knows that the right mogul smiled upon her that day. The truth is - there is about 58 moguls out there that run the globe and everyone's success or failure. If the right mogul smiles upon you, you are golden. If the wrong mogul sneers upon you, your life is crap. But Oprah wants to disillusion people - she wants people to believe in something that is not real. If I had heard about this concept 10 years ago, I would have bought it. Now, because I am wiser and have been victimized by this state, doctors, moguls, whomever is responsible - my ex husband, my stalkers....I realize that these morons destroyed a life that I was content with so that THEY could make money - and guess what? They spent alot of money for nothing because I refuse to milk any crime against me to benefit any of them - they will hopefully spend time in prison for what they did to me and I hope I get a bunch of moguls too.
So there are a bunch of little Oprahs out there believe her mantra and will get hurt because they don't know the truth about this world. I used to believe that I could do anything I set my mind to do, within reason of course. I can't even get out this crime because I am powerless because some screwed up moguls, and politicians wont let me go. I want to destroy them and pummel them to death. I was content with my life, just the way it was. Sure, I could have added real love to the mix, but overall, I was okay. They terrorized me for years here and I'm supposed to thank them? H*ll no. I will see them in prison first.
Toni
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