Asking out your doctor

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2007
Asking out your doctor
16
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 5:18pm
I have a young doctor who is very friendly and with whom I have a great rapport. It seems that there is interest on his part. Has anyone been in a situation like this and asked the person out for a drink? I don't want him to think I'm a total creep if I do ask him out, but I also don't want to wonder if I missed an opportunity were I to choose not to ask... suggestions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 6:35pm

Hi,

What did he do to give signs he's interested? It's a tough situation b/c drs aren't supposed to date their patients. If he's a professional at all he wouldn't do anything even if you are smoking hot. Not to say some drs would hit on their patients but it's an exception, not the rule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 12:03pm

Doctors usually refrain from sexual contact with patients. It is viewed as abusive and as a violation of trust in that type of relatioship - patient/doctor. But if he is a specialist who you would not see on a regular basis (like your OB/GYN or Internal Medicine doctor), then he might be open to dating you if the procedure or treatment is over.

I have not been in your situation so I don't think I can offer any good suggestions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 3:48pm

Chances are, he is just a friendly guy.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 6:09pm

Thanks for your responses.. I'll provide a few more details.

He's my foot doctor. Other than an issue with my feet I haven't shared any medical details with him. I definately wouldn't even consider it if it were a regular doctor or heaven forbid my ob/gyn!

In the beginning, it seemed that he would very discreetly try to check me out. As I continued to see him we started talking about non-medical things.. he'd bring up tv shows about wild spring breakers, vacations he's planning on taking with his brothers, etc. He had an international trip in the works and as I had lived in the city he was visiting, I suggested I give him a few restaurant names and some not-to-miss sites. I said I could email him the list and he (unexpectedly) gave me his personal email... I expected a fax number or a work email. It may be more of the atmosphere when we talk that gives me the feeling he's interested... there seems to be tension and subjects come up that I would never imagine discussing with anyone but a friend or a date.. Also, on 2 occasions he has mentioned that he is single, and in the context of the conversation that info wasn't really necessary.

Finally, more recently, my office visits have been becoming fewer and farther between. But a few visits ago, upon his arrival into the room he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The following visit, nothing, and the last visit, a hug. The only other time I got a hug was before Christmas when I gave him a "thank you/christmas card".

Hope this helps clarify!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 6:21pm

OK, his actions are WILDLY inappropriate.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 9:58pm

I totally agree with you -- it is extremely inappropriate and very worrisome. How many other patients is he exhibiting inappropriate behavior with?!?! The doctor should be focused on work, not hitting on patients. This seriously turns my stomach.

To the OP, I can see how this may be flattering, but trust me, this doctor is wildly out of line. I have dated many doctors (probably five or so) and none of them would even DREAM of behaving in this manner. It's entirely unprofessional and...creepy. And as I said, if he's doing this you, he's probably doing this to every other pretty young thing coming into his office.

Ick!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:12pm
Why would he think you're a creep for asking him for a cup of coffee? There's nothing wrong with doing that. However, what kind of doctor is he? If he's your gynocologist, might be a little uncomfortable! Seriously, ask if he ever socializes with patients and see what he says.
,
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 9:27am
Don't know about the US but in the UK doctors aren't even allowed to date ex-patients. Here in Germany the same. I asked the assistant doctor to the surgeon who operated on my foot (so I was only under the care of that team for 6 days) and we met for a coffee. Then I didnt hear from him for a long time and he emailed me explaining he shouldnt really have met me because it is unethical even if I am no longer under that surgical team's care and will never see them again.
The rules are pretty strict but maybe in the US they are more lax.
Better avoid doctors who have treated you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 10:59am
After reading the details of your visits with him I would suggest you find another guy to date. He may find you attractive, but I don't think your actions will result in anything but a regretful fling. He shouldn't be hugging and kissing you as a patient. He's violating your boundaries as a patient. It's a nice way for a doctor to determine who is ripe for victimization.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 1:34pm
I totally agree and hug and a kiss is inappropriate especially between a man and a woman in this setting. But you could terminate the professional RS so you could go out with him.

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