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| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 2:57pm |
Recently, I went out with a guy...it wasn't referred to as a "date"...but it sure felt like one. We haven't seen each other for years and we really don't know each other...but when I was in my relationship he asked me out...but since I don't cheat...I didn't go out with him then. I was intrigued and attracted to him back then...so now I initiated contact and asked him if he wanted to meet up for coffee. To my surprise he replied immediately and said yes.
We met up and our plans changed from coffee...to dinner/dessert and a movie...all his idea (and he paid). He treated me great and we got along really well. He asked about my situation and I told him that I was single...and though I really should have asked him directly if he had a girlfriend...well I didn't. He did mention an Ex...but that was it. At the end of us "hanging out"...I thanked him and He told me to give him a call...I responded with you can give me a call too...he smiled. He told me that he really enjoyed my company and I know that I gave him the green light that I was interested in him....so now what?
I know that I can call him...but isn't it better to wait for him to call me? I'm new to dating and I hate playing games...but if a guy is interested he should call, right? It's only been a couple of days and well I don't want to rush it. He did hint that this month was really good for him to spend time with me...because his workload was lighter. I know he is interested...though at the end of "hanging out"...I left casually (no kiss, etc) cause I was so confused as to whether I was just on a date or hanging out. I just feel that since I initiated contact the first time...shouldn't he be the one calling me now? Or is that just BS?
See the thing with this guy...is that I've run into him a few of times over a period of 5-6 years...and we've only talked briefly...but both of us were left with an impression of each other. He asked me during dinner if I remembered the first time that I met him...I was really surprised and flattered that he remembered it.
Honestly, I think I got a little flustered at the end of the evening when we said our goodbyes...because well it's been a really long time since I dated...so I'm not used to all this....I'm not sure if he noticed or just thought I wasn't into him...that's why I'm posting here. The evening was really wonderful...but at the last minute I seemed a bit "rushed"...I think he went to give me a hug but I was already stepping out of the car so I said Thank you and gave him a smile and a wave (erg...trust me I wanted that hug).
So now what?

I was meeting my friend earlier so I was there before him and sitting at the bar where I could not be missed...but get this......he arrives and heads over to his friends (which is fine) but takes about 1/2 hour to come over to talk to me. I know he saw me or knew I was around...my friend said she saw his friend looking over at me a couple of times...I was soooo irked that I turned away and then he finally came over to talk to me. I wasn't really "nice"...because I'm not into games....we both are in our early 30's and I thought things should be different at this age. Anyway, as the evening progressed I was nicer and he introduced me to a few of his friends. We couldn't spend all of our time together because we both had other friends around and at the end he was going to drop me at my place cause my friend had to leave early and I felt "buzzed" enough not to drive.
At one point I told myself that it is best just to think that he isn't in to me...but my friend told me that wasn't true cause he kept looking over at me to see where I was and who I was talking too. I was annoyed about having to wonder whether or not he was into me...so I was frank. I asked him directly if he was interested or not...needless to say he was surprised (in a good way). He said "yes" and continued to say that he is very attracted to me but he doesn't want to jump into a relationship without knowing me as a friend first...because he has done that in the past and this time around he wants to establish a friendship first. It's honestly the best answer for me as well. And it was an ice breaker for everything.
After that conversation, we enjoyed each others company. When he was dropping me home, he called his guy friend and wanted me to say hi...he told his friend that "this was the girl that I told you about". So I was flattered, etc., while talking to his friend...I guess the friend told him to ask him what I was doing Friday night...I said I'm not sure yet...haven't made definate plans yet. We laughed and when I was getting out of the car I gave him a hug. And he told me that he would give me a call tommorow (Friday) and we would figure it out. I said OK, smiled...and then I said "you don't have a girlfriend, right?" He said "no" and then he said in passing "you're so weird"...he did not say it negatively...and then we said bye.
I left the whole evening really excited. Then Friday night came along....and he did not call! How annoying. I gave him a window to call...and since he didn't...I made other plans. He told me that he was going away Sunday for a week for vacation...and the whole night on Thursday he kept saying how he had so much packing and ironing to do. We never made definate plans on Friday...but he told me that he would call me. I'm not sure if this is a game he is playing or if he's not really into me. He did not call on Saturday either. I did have a great weekend anyway :) But I'm new to this whole dating scene...and I'm trying not to read too much into this...but I'm being analytical in my spare time! So why would a guy express interest, yet not make any steps to show it? My one thought was he was leaving for vacation and didn't want a "woman" on his mind. What do you think? or as the new saying goes...is he just not really into me?
Sheri
Alice X
So I made a decision....I'm not going to call GI's friend. Even if he wants to hang out as "friends"...I have an inclination that isn't the truth...so I'll stick to my instinct and just keep my distance. He should get a hint. I don't want to lead him on, and as for GI telling me that it was "OK"...what an idiot.
GI has not called and I don't expect him too. I don't get why a guy would tell you he is interested, but then won't take any actions to show you...obviously there is some type of "disconnect" happening here.
Hopefully, you guys agree that I'm taking the right step of not calling his friend...and for deciding never to call GI again either. If he said he was going to call and doesn't...well that's just inconsiderate.