bad timing or is he just not into me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
bad timing or is he just not into me?
1
Sat, 07-30-2005 - 8:25pm

ok, so i've liked this guy "steve" for about a year now. i dont see him that often but once in a while we hang out and we have a good time, so i've slowly developed feelings for him. i can't remember liking someone this much in a long time. it feels great, but then things got complicated. his friend "jon" started to like me without knowing the situation on my end. i decided i would go out with jon a couple times, just to see how things got on with us. i wanted to give him a chance because he was a nice guy, and you never know what could happen. well on my birthday steve and jon both came and i knew right there that i liked steve more and could not deny my feelings any longer. i pulled him aside at a point in the night and i told him that i had feelings for him and that it was complicated because of jon. i asked him if there was any point in my saying all of that or if i was basically wasting my time. we talked for a while and he said that he liked me too, but almost in a "friend" kind of way so i'm not too sure how to interpret that. then he decided that he would call me the next day and we could hang out, and talk about things a little more. well its been two days now and i still haven't gotten a call from him. i'm wondering if i gave him the wrong number, or if its possible that he's concearned about jon's feelings. SHOULD I GIVE HIM A CALL?

i always thought he liked me before i even liked him because of the signals he sent to me: flirting, offering his jacket, buying me drinks, he even bought me a manicure for my birthday, and just the general vibe that i get from him when i look into his eyes (you know that feeling that you get).

please help me to understand the possible complications of all this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 07-30-2005 - 9:54pm

Hi brianne,


Personally I would not call him. If he's telling you he has "friend" feelings for you, then I would not try to make it into anything other than a friendship.


On the other side of the coin, if he did call you it would show that he has no loyalty to his friend. Would you really want to date a person who goes behind his friend's back to be with you? To me, that's a sign of a faulty character.


Are you still with Jon? If so, why?


But again, I would definitely not pursue this. Too many implications and possible hurt feelings to deal with if you do...


Hope this helps. Keep us posted.

Kerry


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